It's been a rough season, so I decided to rest my starters last week going into the playoffs. You gotta stay fresh! Here we go.

SEATTLE (+10) over New Orleans

You've heard it over and over again: division winners host playoff games because the regular season has to MEAN SOMETHING. Divisional rivalries have to MEAN SOMETHING. You know what makes football mean something? WELL PLAYED FOOTBALL. One of the best regular season games I've ever watched was the Giants and Patriots in the conclusion to the 2007 season, when the Pats and G-Men went toe to toe in a game with absolutely no playoff implications, only the 16-0 season on the line. Because that was a 16-0 team and an eventual Super Bowl champ throwing haymakers. Anybody who watched the Sunday night game between the Rams and the Seahawks saw a less entertaining version of this.

The Seahawks suck, and no playoff format justification is going to change that. In fact, as a result of this atrocity, real-life Fathead Roger Goodell is already weighing the option of re-seeding the playoffs so that division winners don't automatically get home games.

Not good enough. If we really want change that we can believe in, the Seahawks have to win a playoff game. And they will.

WHAT? Jesse you are the world's worst gambler, you are no doubt saying to yourself. I say: the only thing that will drive the football universe more insane than a 7-9 team in the playoffs is that team moving on into the second round. SUCK ON THAT ANALYSIS NATE SILVER.

Here's some real analysis. Seattle has one of the loudest stadiums in the league. The Saints' top two running backs are out injured. And everybody and their mother is betting on the Saints, which means that they WILL lose.

NY Jets (+2.5) over Indianapolis

Mark Sanchez has an injured shoulder, and we don't yet know if he'll be able to throw the ball. I haven't yet decided if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

The Colts are not the same this year, and even in the years that they WERE the same they had a bad habit of losing on Wild Card weekend. They are too banged up. Reggie Wayne is getting ready for a stay on Revis Island. A Jets win, when all they do is talk and talk and talk, will infuriate Peter King, if he isn't still doing keg stands. And Shonn Greene will trick me into taking me in the 2nd round of next year's fantasy football draft by having a monster playoffs.

Baltimore (-3) over KANSAS CITY

When the news broke that Charlie Weis, the Chiefs offensive coordinator, was taking a job as the offensive coordinator for the Florida Gators, I did one of these. It made no sense! Why would you leave a job as an NFL coordinator to be a college coordinator? Not a head coach: a coordinator.

Until I found out that Charlie Weis and Chiefs head coach Todd Haley hate each other. Yeah.... that would do it.

PS: If division games mean so much, NFL, why are the Chiefs (2-4 in the AFC West) in the playoffs instead of the Raiders (6-0 in the AFC West)? Sounds like the Raiders "won" the "division" to "me".

PHILADELPHIA (-2.5) over Green Bay

Because the Super Bowl has to be Michael Vick vs. Ben Roethlisberger. Speaking of which, how come Michael Vick can't have a dog but Ben Roethlisberger can have a fiance? I mean, shouldn't we value our women more than we value our dogs? BALL'S IN YOUR COURT, SOCIETY.

Week 16: 6-10
Regular season: 107-122-7 (in which I remind you: it doesn't matter whether I am above or below .500, it only matters how much I deviated from it)