Here are this week's quick NFL picks, twitter-style (140 characters or less per pick):

WASHINGTON (+2) over Minnesota: because it wasn't the coach that was the problem in Minnesota

Pittsburgh (-6.5) over BUFFALO: because I picked them in my suicide pool, goddammit

Tennessee (+6) over HOUSTON: just imagine that I typed 140 question marks here, this line makes no sense

NY GIANTS (-7) over Jacksonville: because Eli Manning will slide this week

Carolina (+9.5) over CLEVELAND: because I didn't pick Cleveland in my suicide pool, goddammit

Tampa Bay (+7.5) over BALTIMORE: because Tampa Bay has proven they can play tough on the road against quality opponents

Philadelphia (-3) over CHICAGO: because these Bears are made out of tissue paper

ATLANTA (-1.5) over Green Bay: because Matt Ryan is something like 16-1 at home (I know the one loss is right)

OAKLAND (-2.5) over Miami: because Tyler Thigpen was Miami's third string quarterback for a reason

SEATTLE (+2) over Kansas City: because Seattle just won't die!

St. Louis (+3.5) over DENVER: because Denver can't wait to die

INDIANAPOLIS (-2.5) over San Diego: because you bet against Peyton Manning in a nationally televised game at your own peril

SAN FRANSISCO (-1) over Arizona: because Kurt Warner made it all the way to the Dancing With the Stars semi-finals

Last week: 10-6
Thanksgiving: 2-1
Overall: 76-80-5