jesse
@ September 9, 2010


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I may have mentioned this before, but it needs to be said again: I am like a crackhead about to get my crack fix on crack rocks. I am EXCITED FOR THE NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. I'm been watching any football-like substance I could get my eyeballs on for the last 9 months, including high school football, college football, pre-season football and, god help me, futbol. So while some other people might not like the new Thursday opening night tradition, for me, it is like finding an oasis in the desert. And in that oasis, there is a football game on.

I'm taking over the picks column this year; not that Daytrader did a bad job, per se. I mean, he did PICK all of the games, as in, he did manage to announce a choice about what his opinion of the outcome would be successfully. But if you were gambling based on his advice, then you are not reading this, because you sold your computer at the pawn shop and your electricity has been shut off. Also, you were murdered by your bookie for unpaid debts. Such a tragedy.

Home team listed in caps:

NEW ORLEANS (-5) over Minnesota

A rematch of the NFC championship game at the same stadium. So what's changed since New Orleans won this game by 3 points last year? As far as I can tell, the Saints are as good as ever, while Minnesota has gotten worst: Sidney Rice, their #1 receiver, is out; Percy Harvin, their #2 receiver, can't see straight through his migraine headaches; and Brett Favre, who took a brutal pounding in the NFC title tilt, is already getting injections in his ankle just thinking about facing this defense again. That has to be worth at least 2 more points.

In fact, I can't believe Favre is playing. If he wasn't on this silly consecutive games streak, he probably sits this one out, right? Or stays retired until Week 4?

Carolina (+6.5) over NY GIANTS

Speaking of rematches, here's another: in the last game the Giants ever played in the old stadium, Carolina came in and beat them by, if I remember correctly, 1000 points. Again, I have to ask: what has changed? Yes, I am a Giants fan, so maybe my pessimism about the season is clouding my judgment, but the Giants have to prove to me that they are going to be a different team this year, and a breakout pre-season by their #5 wide receiver is not what I mean.

(Quick side note: do you think it sucks as a professional athlete having a name that rhymes with "boo"? Victor Cruz, the aforementioned breakout, would get the "Cruuuuuuuuz" call every time he made a play, but if you were paying attention, it just sounded like booing. Same thing for former Yankee great Mike "The Moooooose" Mussina.)

Miami (-3) over BUFFALO

I looked at this game long and hard for my suicide pool pick. Buffalo is going to be one of those teams you can pick against all year (ultimately, I decided to wait until Buffalo goes back to Miami to pick them). Quick, name a player on Buffalo. The only one I can think of is Lee Evans, which I sometimes get confused with Bob Evans, which just makes me hungry. But Miami will win this game; they get a break by going to Buffalo in early September, when it is still warm, rather than, say, late September, by which time upstate New York has transformed into a frozen hellscape from which none may escape.

PITTSBURGH (+2.5) over Atlanta

Ben Roethlisburger didn't play defense, and Troy Polamalu is back. This is going to be a low scoring game - take the points on the home team.

Detroit (+6.5) over CHICAGO

Detroit, one of last year's punching bags, is going to be significantly better this year. Sure, significantly better doesn't have to mean good, or even over .500; it can mean 6-10. But they've got a young team with some talent at a spot other than wide receiver now that Matt Millen is making the draft picks anymore.

Chicago, meanwhile, is a team in total disarray. Just remember when Ndakomong Suh is running back his strip-sack of Jay Cutler for a touchdown, and everybody is booing (Cutler doesn't rhyme with boo, so you can tell the difference), I warned you.

Cincinatti (+4.5) over NEW ENGLAND

Before you go crazy, check out this. Yes, the day the NFL season kicked off, Tom Brady was in a car accident. Yes, I know he's fine. That's not the point. It's an omen: this Patriots season is when the wheels finally come off. It's over. And if that's still not enough of an omen, check out this.



Dude.

Cleveland (+3) over TAMPA BAY

The line (3 points) means the bookmakers think the Browns and the Bucs are just as good (or, if you prefer, just as bad), but I don't buy it. The Browns showed life at the end of last season (winning against Pittsburgh and putting 41 up on KC down the stretch), and Josh Cribbs is a legitimately exciting player. The only thing exciting about the Bucs is that I get to pick against them in my suicide pool all year.

JACKSONVILLE (-2.5) over Denver

If nobody shows up to your home games, does it still count as home field advantage?

HOUSTON (+2) over Indianapolis

Is the AFC South the best division in football? Tennessee has Chris Johnson, the best player in the game and, once Kerry Collins' corpse was pushed overboard last season, finished 8-2 after their 0-6 start. Indy is the reigning AFC Champion and still has Peyton Manning. And with even a reasonable amount of luck last season, rather than the multiple groin kicks they received, Houston would have finished 10-6 instead of 8-8.

One of those should-have-won games was against Indy, IN Indy, when they lost a touchdown on a freaky goal-line fumble that was overturned on replay when Houston stupidly called a timeout that gave the refs time to review it, AND when the choker of a kicker choked on a kick.

If Houston is ready to make the next step, they win this game at home. And I think they are.

TENNESSEE (-6.5) over Oakland

Go ahead, pick Oakland. Three Chris Johnson touchdowns and 250 yards later, you'll feel really dumb.

PHILADELPHIA (+3) over Green Bay

The football pundit-industrial complex has gotten very excited about Green Bay this pre-season. Until I see them do it in the regular season, I'm taking the points for the home team.

San Fransisco (-3) over SEATTLE

The lines are always very conservative week one. If this game was replayed in a month, this would be at least a touchdown. And I would STILL take San Fransisco. Seattle may be the worst team in football, and they have a new coach straight from college, which never. Ever. Works.

Arizona (-4) over ST. LOUIS

After Matt Leinart's junior year, when he won the Heisman, he was the consensus overall #1 pick. Instead, he went back to school, took a single ballroom dancing class as his entire course load, lost the national championship game, slid to #10, couldn't beat out an elderly man for the starting job, and then, when the elderly man finally retired, instead of getting that job, he was traded to Houston. The lesson, as always: don't take ballroom dancing classes.

WASHINGTON (+3.5) over Dallas

I wouldn't want him as my Super Bowl quarterback (unless they institute a rule change where vomiting is worth 3 points), but D McNabb, in week one, at home, in revenge mode against a Dallas team that embarrassed him in the playoffs? I'm okay with that.

My bigger concern for Washington is Clinton Portis, who couldn't get on the field last year without suffering a concussion. I think by the end of the season he would get a concussion if he had an especially vigorous bowel movement. He was openly considering retirement before the season. Is his heart (or his brain) really going to be in it to win it this year?

NY JETS (-2.5) over Baltimore

I'm hoping that Hard Knocks and the Jets preseason was an elaborate ruse to make other teams think they would be throwing the ball this season, and then they will come out Monday night and rush for 300 yards while Sanchez has 10-15 drop backs. Also, I'm hoping Antonio Cromartie can make it through the game without getting another woman pregnant.

KANSAS CITY (+4.5) over San Diego

Remember when SD almost lost to Oakland in their first game on Monday Night last year? I remember.

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I see someone still believes in Tennessee.

Experience demands that man is the only animal which devours his own kind, for I can apply no milder term to the general prey of the rich on the poor. Thomas Jefferson

You know, that may be the most desperate sounding comment Ive ever heard.

Tuesday is going to be fascinating in so many ways. We conservatives are going to learn how far our opponents will go to marshal their forces to win at any cost. We are about to find out what we will need to do to defeat the statists. Given the events of the last 18 months, I cant wait to see what transpires. Ultimately, the statists are going to be defeated. The math says that defeat will occur, sooner or later.

I am thankful that the Scope had the faith and confidence that putting me on the cover would be good for business. This sends a strong message to society that it is acceptable to be a part of the LGBT community.

I feel the same about kids as you. it would be hard for me to give up my lifestyle and doing things when I want to. Its a big choice and I know with my career it makes it harder because I love my job.

Holy crap Flo! So sorry to hear about your day, that sucks (I was also thinking about half way through the PDR that I wished I brought my handheld, I think I am also going to take it for my full). That is one hell of a race report though. I laughed and cried. Youve got a lot of grit to write something like this up after the day you had. Youve got a great attitude, you are going to rock Steamtown

What was that you were saying about hostility towards this president? Since your side of the aisle madeThird Reich accusations towards the President that first appointed blacks as Secretaries of State, behavior which is not exactly Hitlerian, why should we be surprised that your side continues them?

Ihre gemütliche Pension nahe am Kurpark von Bad Sooden-Allendorf.

I dont care what color you are, what religion, what race..any of those things..I find it appalling that so many folks posting here are demanding liberty for themselves but find it perfectly acceptable to deny the same liberties to others that they see as less deserving of such.

Should the child be in the custody of a gay person in the first place? The authors of the AAP policy assume that question away. They describe the kids at stake as those who happen to have a homosexual parent, ignoring the question of how that happened. Like abortion-rights advocates, they stipulate that the disputed conduct will take place anyway and that therefore the best policy is to make it safe and legal. People are already doing this, de facto, says one sociologist. The question is are you going to give parents the same rights, and therefore the kids the same rights, and the same stability in their connection to their parents that other kids have?

Wonderful article and I am really very helpful thank you

There is nothing called hypocrisy atleast in films. See different ppl have diff perceptions, its on a collective pereception that Slum dog is masterpeice.

I will pirate games I’ve heard seriously mixed reviews about. If it’s garbage I delete it. If it’s good I delete it but keep my saves. And then I buy it. A-typical, I know, but I’d really like it if the industry gave more substantial trial downloads. Enough to get the feel of the game, but not, y’know, more than an hour or two of play. I’d like to play about 5% of a game before buying it, honestly. Not that industry or game-pirates are going to like that solution.

Fantastic l ist! Although I would not look at Nickelodeon a fantastic identity update.

His Eminence The Patriarch

As for points, I believe they do more harm than good. Too often, the scores are the first words to fall from the lips of wine consumers when talking about wines. Nothing about the qualities or sensations of the wine. Reminds me of the museum goer who looks at the tag naming the artist before bothering to look at the painting. Doesn't seem like the right place to start.

This movie is pretty much terrible.

@ SaurabhA R Rahman has created far better melodies than Jai Ho, yet none before this got a nomination. So what do you call that? A R Rehman has never created melodies for an English Language Film, so he cannot be nominated in the Open Categories at the oscars. kapiche? Just like Alicia Keys is never gonna win a Filmfare for Best Playback Singer Female.unless ofcourse someone ropes her in. My 3 year old niece understands that!!

Everyone roots for the underdog cos essentially all of us our underdogs or like to think that we are. Even Danny for me is an underdog in Hollywood (though not anymore)

Governor of Stavropol Territory took the verdict is a systemic problem in the region. On behalf of Valeria Gajewski, a working society to develop approaches for building a list of buildings and facilities for the state and budget needs to be funded from the regional budget. Commission, much of representatives of all ministries and the Regional Legislative Assembly, headed by a smart economic development of the Stavropol Territory, Konstantin Temples. "The issue long-term construction costs for the Stavropol region is very hot, told IA Rosbalt-South Constantine Temples. The Governor set a target concentration of money and opportunities in one consolidated ministry. Throughout 2008 for this purpose is planned 4 and 5 billion rubles.

No, it doesnt. It assumes that there is some point where their innings are more equally distributed, and that this more equal distribution MAY lead to both of them pitching better and healthier, based on what we know about pitching usage rhythms.

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