THUD.

That was the sound you heard last week of my diminished interest in this diminished season of So You Think You Can Dance. It roughly coincided with the moment that Alex Wong's Achilles tendon got bored with its attaching-muscle-to-bone gig and instead decided to try to make it in Hollywood as Audrina's friend on the inevitable spinoff of The Hills. Even the cold comfort that he would return to dominate next season has been taken away, leaving in its place a hollow void where this year's dance talent should be.

If you are wondering who to blame, by the way, blame me. I picked him as the best dancer of the season, so naturally, something horrible would go wrong. As has been firmly established, I am the cooler.

11. Christina Santana
10. Alexie Agdeppa
9. Melinda Sullivan
8. Alex Wong's Achilles tendon
7. Billy Bell (last week: 6)

Back-to-back bottom three finishes, inexplicably unmerciful criticism from the judges week after week, and his insistence on boring the fuck out of me when he isn't doing his solo dance will surely spell the end of the former front runners season this week.

6. Robert Roldan (last week: 8)

My biggest problem with Robert is that his shtick of aw-shucks humility and goofiness is awfully, painfully fake. So I can't decide whether the choreographer who decided that he would perform half of this week's dance as a stiff, dead-behind-the-eyes man doll was a tone-deaf retard or an evil genius.

5. Jose Ruiz (last week: 7)

WE GET IT, judges. You love when a contestant's story includes growth. Jose wouldn't hear the word growth as much if he was in chemotherapy. But you know what I love, judges? I love competent dancing, and Jose has been unable to supply any for weeks. Please, please stop.

4. Adechike Torbert (last week: 5)

Right on for Cat Deeley to point out the judge's hypocrisy vis-a-vis Adechike and Jose's relative Bollywood performances (a style of dancing, incidentally, that I am ready to never see again on this show).  Also not pointed out: Adechike was doing the same leaps that lead to Alex Wong's Achilles tendon going on hiatus. Not only would that make anyone tentative as hell, that means they made Adechike switch parts 24 hours before the performance! What the fuck? How is he expected to get it down with that little amount of practice time? I call bullshit.

3. Lauren Froderman (last week: 3)

If Nigel is going to use last week's all-time great Alex/Twitch pairing as a defense of the All-Star format, then its only fair to use the intense chemistry of Lauren and Kent's performance against it. What if these two had been paired together from week one? How many great performances would they have had together? How much speculation on the amount of sexual intercourse the two are having have we missed out on? And now they'll be yanked apart again next week. Totally lame.

2. Ashley Galvan (last week: 2)

Ashley could land herself in the bottom three as much as she wants: the judges aren't getting rid of her. And well they should not. She remains a consistently strong performer, who was struck by the NappyTab week-after curse. Also, she should immediately apologize to the costume designer for whatever she did that made her dress her in those parachute pants last week.

1. Kent Boyd (last week: 3)

Right? Right.