You know what really grinds my gears? When the gym fills up with fatties right after New Year's. Now, everytime I go to exercise after work in the tiny gym at the condo clubhouse, I have to wait for the treadmill while some 250 pound resolutee uses it. To walk.

Hey, you know what's great for walking? EVERYWHERE. You don't need a treadmill to walk. When you are running, a treadmill helps you hit your distance goals, set your pace, and is easier on your joints. But walking? That's what the ENTIRE WORLD is for, you fat bastard.

And if you'd ever been in a gym before, you'd know that it is common fucking decency to keep your time on the treadmill to 30 minutes or less. If you're going to be walking for an hour, why don't you walk to the store and buy a vegetable or two? Kill two birds with one stone, and then don't eat them this time.

At least I can look on the bright side, and know that after another week or two, you'll give up and climb back into the bag of potato chips you came from.