It's been so long since I've written anything it actually took me a second to think of my password.* This won't be as detailed as we got into last season, but I wanted to comment because everyone I know in real life is getting sick of my commentary. I think my father might disown me if I mention the show any more to him.
Karen and Kevin
...wait, what? Her puff piece before the dance is that she's divorcing her husband from Vegas week? That's unexpected, butpresumably they were both taking it from both ends for the entire week.
Their dance was the Hustle, and it was not totally cringe inducing. Karen was solid although unspectacular, and Kevin probably staved off his pending elimination for another week. It also marks the beginning of a bizarrely generous night by the judges, as they start forgiving ass routine after ass routine because it wasn't the dancer's exact style.
Ashleigh and Jakob
Ashleigh is a nerd, Jakob is still boring. If any couple were breaking up I would have put money on Ashleigh and her husband, who is a better dancer and doesn't have a terrifying horse face. She's a reverse centaur! I don't like this couple but I have to begrudgingly admit that this was a good routine, and danced well. Particularly considering the routines to come.
Pauline and Peter
Peter helps out special people. Shooting the big guns early, although not surprising after last week's tap holocaust.
This routine seems vaguely racist, but cute. It was also danced terribly but all things considered, reasonably watchable. It would probably have been more merciful for Nigel to just do a triple elimination last week rather than bother with the charade of a quickstep.
Kathryn and Legacy
I was actively annoyed when Legacy made it on. First off, he's already successful, having been on tour with big groups as a dancer. why take a slot away from someone who might actually need it? Second, in Vegas he could barely blunder through anything that wasn't his style. Third, he's a giant douche, seriously, his name is Legacy. Even as a B-Boy name that's dumb.
However, he's rocked it basically every night since then. This was probably his weakest, but it was still entertaining. And he was saddled with Kathryn who probably would have been better off replaced by a sack of potatoes with a vacant smile drawn on it. The judges agree.
Channing and Victor
Channing had a newspaper article written about her tractor racing ability as a young girl. Ok that's actually kind of interesting, and she gets points for not blatantly pandering for votes.
Stacey Tookey is a good choreographer, and this is a pretty good routine danced pretty well. Not great, but compared to what's ahead not bad.
Ellenore and Ryan
I seriously cannot believe the judges did not boo them off the stage, much less give them compliments. This routine was completely blowful. Mediocre choreography that could have possibly been saved by great dancing, but great dancing this wasn't. It was awful, they weren't synchronized at all and looked silly.
Mollee and Nathan
Urban Dictionary: "Disastrophe"
1. A really, really bad problem. Worse than a disaster, worse than a catastrophe.
2. That dance.
I really wanted to leave it at that but I've been wanting to mock Nathan's ridiculous face and guyliner for a while. His secret should have been that he and the singer of Panic at the Disco are brothers, created as the result of a failed cold war experiment to 'cure' homosexuality. This guy makes Adam Lambert look macho. They suck, and are annoying, and this is almost certainly the only chance to get rid of them because tweens will keep them into the top 4 at least.
Noelle and Russell
First off I'd like to say that I appreciate the judges thumbing the scales for someone good for once (having him do a solo the first episode, giving him the pimp slot here). Noelle launches the torpedoes with a big interview with her stroke-ridden brother, only to not need it as this routine ruled. I'm not sure any other couple could have pulled it off, but Russell is, as always, amazing, and even Noelle didn't suck it up as much as she should have.
*twist ending: it was... saved in my browser history THE WHOLE TIME DUN DUN DUUUN.