jesse
@ October 20, 2009


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If you care enough about football to read these rankings, then you already know who the top team is. While four undefeated teams would all like to be the best, the New Orleans Saints claimed the top spot for the first time this season after knocking off the Giants in controversial fashion (well, controversial around these parts, anyway).

With 4 teams coming into the week looking for their first win, the Titans made a similarly bold claim to be the worst team in football, after a historic 59-point trouncing at the hands of the resurgent New England Patriots. In between these two extremes is lots of regressing to the mean, as over one-third of the league is within a game of .500.

Looking for this week's bold prediction? You won't have to read too far to find it. Promise.


Rank (LW) Team Record Comments
1 (3) 5-0 As long as they don't get caught looking ahead to their matchup with the Falcons on Monday night in two weeks, the Saints should get to 6-0 against the Dolphins this week.
2 (2) 5-0 If you have the Colts left in your suicide pool (which I do), congratulations! They play the lowly Ram this week.
3 (4) 6-0 Yes, they could easily be 4-2 with losses to the Niners and the Ravens on Sunday. Settling for a field goal and leaving the Ravens time to come back was a bad coaching decision.
4 (5) 6-0 BOLD PREDICTION ALERT: The Broncos will be the first team in the NFL to secure a playoff spot. (Bold prediction record: 1-1).
5 (8) 4-2 Last week, I asked if we'd ever see the Tom Brady of 2007 ever again. We got our answer on Sunday, and it was: HELL YES BITCHES.
6 (10) 4-1 Back to back impressive wins after their bye week have put the Falcons back into the discussion as one of the elite teams in the league.
7 (1) 5-1 Ugh, I've said everything I have to say.
8 (9) 4-2 After 5 straight weeks of last second plays deciding the game, a relatively ho-hum loss.
9 (12) 4-2 The Steelers quietly took care of business Sunday against the Browns.
10 (18) 3-2 With an impressive win at Seattle, the Cardinals once again took control of the NFC West.
11 (16) 3-2 Did the Niners get everything sorted out during their bye week after that whupping by the Falcons? We'll find out Sunday in Houston.
12 (7) 3-2 My preseason sleeper pick is already facing a must-win game against the Bengals on Sunday.
13 (6) 3-3 Ravens, meet Earth. Earth, Ravens.
14 (17) 2-3 A dolphin wearing a helmet! ADORABLE.
15 (19) 3-3 QB Matt Schaub leads the NFL in touchdown passes. If you had 10 guesses, I bet you still wouldn't have gotten that right.
16 (14) 2-3 Has any coach done less with more talent than Norv Turner on this Chargers team the last 3 seasons?
17 (6) 3-2 Just when you thought Donovan McNabb couldn't do anything dumber than not knowing about overtime, he proves that he can't count to three.
18 (18) 3-2 Green Bay took care of business against the Lions at home. Yawn.
19 (23) 3-2 There has been alot written about the troubles of the Cowboys this season, considering the team is in second place in the division and still within striking distance.
20 (13) 3-3 How do you lose a game in which you rush for over 300 yards as a team? Here's a hint: 6 interceptions.
21 (21) 3-3 Suzi picked Jacksonville for the suicide pool after I urged her to "be bold". Thank you for not making me look stupid, Jacksonville.
22 (15) 2-4 Seattle was down 14-0 before the offense even came on the field. That's hard to do. It's also hard to come back from.
23 (24) 1-5 As much fun as it is to call this team "frisky" and "much improved over last season", they've still lost 5 of their first 6 games, and their franchise quarterback is out with a knee injury.
24 (25) 2-3 Jake Delhomme has quietly continued to throw horrible interceptions since his opening game meltdown, including another pick six last week.
25 (26) 2-4 JaMarcus Russell didn't show why he's the first pick in the draft in last week's game, but he at least showed that he is not a fully decomposed corpse.
26 (27) 1-5 I'm going to settle the Derek Anderson-Brady Quinn controversy right now: THEY BOTH SUCK.
27 (28) 2-4 In the last two games, the Buffalo defense has 7 interceptions. Too bad they are only 1-1 over that span.
28 (29) 1-5 I thought about making "Chiefs over Redskins" my bold prediction of the week last week. But then I realized it wasn't really that bold; the Reskins are horrible.
29 (22) 2-4 4 teams have gotten their first win of the season against the Redskins this year. I'm not looking it up, but that has got to be a record.
30 (31) 0-6 The Rams have officially replaced the Lions as my "when in doubt, pick against them" team for my suicide pool.
31 (32) 0-6 Head coach Raheem Morris got the job without even being a coordinator in the NFL first. When he applies for his next job, does this one count as experience?
32 (30) 0-6 The worst lost in the NFL in over 30 years? Yeah, that'll get you to the bottom rung in a hurry.

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