[Senator Ted Kennedy died last night of a brain tumor at the age of 77.]What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Ted Kennedy?
- One was the Drunken Master, the other was the master drunkard.
What's the difference between Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopechne?
- About 45 seconds underwater.
Why was Ted Kennedy called the Lion of the Senate?
- Because lions can't drive drunk very well either.
Knock knock
Who's there?
Chappaquiddick.
Chappaquiddick who?
Chappaquiddick, the place where Ted Kennedy killed his girlfriend.
What is the Republic Party's favorite band?
- The Dead Kennedys
Senator Ted Kennedy died of a brain tumor last night. I guess that was God's way of shooting him in the head.
Why didn't Ted Kennedy cross the road?
He drove off a bridge before he got to the other side.
