Spoiler Alert: Kupono goes home, finally.  Fuck you judges for making us watch his boring prancing this long. Interestingly enough, while standing in line, Steph and I discussed the show and came to the conclusion Randi and Kupono were probably going home just by virtue of sucking way more than anybody else.  I may diss America a lot, but it certainly fucked up less than the judges this time!

I've been at Disney World the last week, funneling my wallet into Mickey Mouse's greedy, antisemitic mouth, so I'm just now watching it thanks to TV MAGIC.  I am growing increasingly concerned for Nigel's sanity, Mary Murphy seems to have infected him. 

With this episode, we reach the stage of the show where the Thursday episode is just sadistic.  The lower voted dancers are still forced to cavort for their life, but with no ability to change the results, it's just one last chance to get browbeaten by the judges. 
The opening routine is actually a really neat feudal Japan inspired take on Janet Jackson, which I guess is the next best thing to Michael Jackson, whose estate refused to let them use it.  Nice work by Wade Robson, one of the best openers this year. 

Cat brags about the show's four choreography nods from the last, better season.  Also she dislikes Thursdays!  But it's ladies night, since Nigel is back in jolly England.

And ladies first for the results, which we're not going to pretend we don't know.  Cat asks Randi to enter the DANGER ZONE.  Kayla had a good solo even if her waltz was bleh.  The Cryptkeeper (Melissa) is also in danger as nobody loves a dirty ballerina.  I wouldn't want to be her next week either.

No Cat, I would not like to see some of the best moments from Season Six.  Wait, I take that back, hot girl with amazingly, amazingly tight clothes.  And she's 18, sorry Yaworm.
 
Evan had my favorite solo of the night, I love Broadway and it's good to see Evan, who's been struggling lately, back in form, even if he immediately lost it in the African group dance.   He's hardly going to win it, but he should be able to make it another week or two.  Jason I'm looking at you for next week, and stop raping Muddy Water's corpse (he is dead, right?).  Kupono's outfit is just unpleasant, a low rent Jack Sparrow knockoff.  Not sure how Ade is in the bottom, he and Brandon are both fantastic dancers. 

Solo time.  Randi is not bad, but not making anyone regret their votes either.  She is a 'heavenly little creature' according to Mary, who sounds like she might be crying about how much she likes Randi.  Geez, spoiler alert.  Debbie Allen rambles sassily.

Christ another terrible Kupono solo.  What is there to even say at this point?  At least he's moving around this time.  NAME ONE OF THESE GREAT NUMBERS MARY MURPHY. 

Melissa's solo is a standard Melissa routine.  Great lines, fantastic control, and kind of boring. 

My DVR had trouble with Ade's performance, skipping a bit, but it looked good if not thrilling.

The Black Eyed Peas have a new song out.  It is less sucky than most of the musical guests and I don't fast forward it for once, even though I'm dreading getting incredibly sick of it in threee weeks just like every other BEP single.

Randi and Kupono leave.  No tears are shed, except by Randi after Cat continues to talk about her ass.