Before we begin, I have to apologize to my audience that reads this every week about getting this out a day late. Sorry, Kevin.

This week, in addition to the usual running side commentary from the Suze, we are visited by Rose, the official sister of Obscurecraft.net, and OC contributor Daytrader.

And DT immediately points out something that has somehow eluded me during the credits, which is that Kupono's name is showed with a bar over the U in his name. Is this So You Think You Can Pronounce?

This episode also starts off on Rose's bad side: "That was a really lame opening, they all hit there spot at the wrong time." Shit, Rose is really particular.

This week's Cat Deeley fashion update: a bright pink 1980's prom dress with a wide sparkly belt. Only Cat Deeley could pull that dress off. Well, her and her boyfriend. GOD I HATE HIM.

Everybody in the room boos when Mia Michaels is revealed as the guest judge. Rose: what is that shirt? Rose has a point, as she appears to be either wearing the puffy shirt from Seinfeld, or she's just tucked an enormous napkin into her jacket so she doesn't get orange Cheetoh dust all over her.

Jeanette and Brandon

Jean Marc Generaeux whips up a cha cha cha cha cha for the Miami latin ballroom dancer. This should be good, but it looks like the choreographer isn't taking it easy on them.

i think to myself during this routine: too bad he's gay, because Jeanette's latin sexiness is completely wasted on him. I then think to myself: we're going to have to listen to Mary screaming when this is over.

Daytrader declares: I'm going to come up with a nickname for every couple. So they are... Jeanette and Brandon...
Rose interjects: That's some nickname.

This couple had the best disco in the history of the show on the first episode, and two weeks later they have the best cha cha in the history of the show.

Kayla and Kupono.

I guess this is the week when there are too many people to do two dances each, but not enough to actually fill up a show; there is SO MUCH FILLER TONIGHT. Before each couple dances, they are recapping every single dance they have done in the previous three weeks. Wake me up when its time for dancing please.

Sonya is back to choreograph another pop-goth routine. And from the first step, Kupono looks terrible. We decide to call this group Kupono Kills Kayla, because she's being dragged down by his terrible dancer, and it was the best way we came up with to shoehorn them into the initials KKK. Also because we are racist. The story of the routine was supposed to be Kupono dragging Kayla towards hell, but it just looks like Kupono dragging her towards the bottom three.

Mia Michaels calls this Sonya's best piece ever on the show. In her defense, Mia Michaels can't see much dancing through all her squinting.

Randi and Evan

Randi is like the girl from that Seinfeld episode that is ugly in some light and pretty in others. She's only pretty when she's dancing. Right now, she is NOT dancing. Yeesh.

Is this a new choreographer? I've never seen her before. We're judging you, Joey Dowling. She's apparently a real kate, so I like her too start. Unfortunately, as soon as I reached that conclusion, the dancing started.

This. Is. Horrible. Boring. Nonsense. The music is bad. Their characters don't even make any sense. There is nothing here. NOTHING. They are in the bottom three for the first time. Sorry, guys. After Jeanette and Brandon gave us the best cha cha cha ever on the show, that might have been the worst broadway routine ever.

Nigel calls this routine a great homage to Bob Fosse. Well then Bob Fosse is a boring retard; don't tell me that was a great anything, other than a great big waste of time.

Was that Quantum Leap in the audience?! Yes, it totally was. Awesome. If they made that show today, he definitely Quantum Leaps into a reality show contestant at some point, right?

Jason and Caitlin

Brian Friedman!! You are the choreographer responsible for getting Max thrown off the show!!!!!! IF YOU DON'T GET JASON OR CAITLIN OR BOTH THROWN OFF THEN YOU ARE A DEAD MAN YOU BALD ASSHOLE!!!!!!!

They are apparently doing a piece from his upcoming off-Broadway production of Species: The Musical. In this version, an alien comes down to earth to impregnate a hobo. Nigel calls her outfit the Dancing Condom, which is sort of true, if you had to hold your condom on with duct tape. Which I do, so I understand.

Mia Michaels: "I don't think Brian came in thinking this would be the most brilliant piece of his career, he just wanted to have some fun with it." Suzi: "That was an... underhanded... insult."

Philip and Jeanine

Philip, Jeanine, and Philip's enormous lips come out for some wussy hip-hop with Tabitha and Napoleon. And they'll be chained together for this dance. This dance to ohmigod LOVE LOCKDOWN GOTTA KEEP YOUR LOVE LOCKDOWN YOUR LOVE LOCKDOWN. Oh, and they are chained. I get it.

Suzi protests: "Wow, two hip hop routines for this guy, they must LOVE him." Me: "But they pick them out of a hat!" Suzi: "Yeah, a hat filled with nothing but hip hop."

The routine was okay, but we've seen so far that these two can do pretty much whatever and get voted through. Just for a challenge, next week they should have them do a contemporary dance where she plays Anne Frank, and he plays the German soldier that finds her, to see if people still vote for them.

Suzi about Jeanine: "She looks like.... something something something rehab, something something no, no, no."

Ade and Melissa

A&M come out for a routine dressed like they are going to the Renaissance Fair. Everyone in the room immediately start talking about how old Melissa looks. Renaissance Fair outfit apparently translates as pas de deux - and no, I don't know if I'm spelling that correctly, and I also don't care. Melissa is a ballerina, so has no problem getting up on point for this. Pas de deux is a difficult dance, but if you can do it even marginally well, you are gauranteed to get through the week. And A&M are doing it more than marginally well. Although Daytrader thinks its gay.

Me: Would it still be gay if he was dunking a basketball? Because he could probably do one from how high he's getting.
DT: Wow, they should do a basketball ballet. That would be awesome.

More filler! Nigel and Friends promoting something called the Dizzy Feet Foundation. One of Nigel's friends is Katie Holmes, but but she can't be here tonight, because she's chained to her bed. Oh, no, wait! There she is!! And she's going to be performing on July 23rd on this show as Judy Garland, directed by Tyce Diorio. That sound you heard was every homosexual man hitting the ground in a faint.

Karla and Vitolio

Oh, Karla. Last week was almost it for you, and this week you are paired with Vitolio, AND you pulled the quick step. Oh dear. Oh god no. Okay, must enjoy her now, while she's still here.

Usually being the last couple is a good thing, because its the last thing everybody remembers, but not so much when you get the quickstep. So, what do you do when you get the quickstep to keep the audiences attention? MAGIC TRICKS! The old reversible dress trick! It also helps when they actually dance it well. Sure, the choreography covers up the fact that they can't really dance the quickstep technically well, but that's what they are supposed to do. Nobody does the quickstep well. Nobody.

Could Karla make it through this week? Randi and Evan, Kayla and Kupono, and Jason and Caitlin could all easily be in the bottom three. That's the only possible combination that doesn't include Karla. But this dance did prove one thing: I had been blaming Vitolio for the troubles of the AV Club the last three weeks, but he stepped up big time this week. Sorry, Yaworm: I guess Asuka sucked.