I think this graph, from a Research 2000 poll commissioned by Kos speaks for itself. The question's exact wording was: "Do you believe that Barack Obama was born in the United States of America or not?" No polling tricks, just a simple yes/no/unsure. Obviously part of this is a partisan split, but there's an almost equal divide between the South (47 yes to 53 no/unsure) and everyone else (closer to 90/10) than Democrats (93/7) and Republicans (42/58).
This is one of the most ridiculous of the many ridiculous group numbers. It's actually kind of entrancing, though not entirely in a good way. Also, kind of unfair as some of the dancers get noticeably more terrible face paint than others. The number ends with sad Evan crying as the other dancers go back in their box. Cat calls it the saddest routine she's ever seen. DID YOU ALREADY FORGET ABOUT THE CANCER DANCE CAT DEELEY?
That list of 104 names of players who failed a confidential drug test
in 2003? You know, the one that had Alex Rodriguez's name on it, which
was leaked, but somehow not a single other player was? David Ortiz's
name is on that list. I guarantee it. And the only reason MLB won't
release the names is because Bud Selig is a wholly owned subsidiary of the Boston Red Sox.
From the New York Times this morning:
Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, the sluggers who propelled the Boston Red Sox to end an 86-year World Series championship drought and to capture
another title three years later, were among the roughly 100 Major
League Baseball players to test positive for performance-enhancing
drugs in 2003, according to lawyers with knowledge of the results.
Is it possible to get punched in the face with happiness? Or to take a kick to the groin from a rainbow? Because that's what I feel like right now. This news makes me so joyful that it is causing me physical pain. David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez, stars of the hated World Champion Red Sox, were cheating. Say it once, and it sounds like praying. Say it twice, and I think I just messed myself.
For years, I have dealt with the epic collapse 3-0 Yankee collapse in the ALCS of 2004 with the knowledge that the key players on that Red Sox team were juicing. Yes, I couldn't prove it, but I knew it. I knew it I knew it I knew it. I. Fucking. Knew. It. And yes, players on the Yankees were also juicing, of that I have no doubt either. But the difference is everybody hated the Yankees and loved the Red Sox. Alex Rodriguez was a cheat, but people hate him and love Ortiz. That Red Sox team was the Idiots, the lovable losers-turned-winners, with Papi as the big grinning teddy bear leading the parade.
Well, how are you loving him now, everybody? WHO LOVES YOU NOW BIG PAPI. Nobody loves you! Nobody loves you!
When A-Rod's name first surfaced, I declared that it was only a matter of time before the list came out. We now know 4 of the 100 players who were on the list, each one of them an All-Star with Hall of Fame credentials. What's left to protect? Surely the biggest stars on the list are already out.
The list is coming, and it is coming soon. Now that Selig can no longer protect his beloved Boston Red Sox, there is no longer any reason for the list to stay hidden. Mark my words - the list is coming.
And the pain that I felt the days and weeks after the 2004 ALCS? Gone. Evaporated. And the Red Sox fans wake up with that pain instead today, except its never going away. The stars of your championship teams are tainted. Forever.
Before we begin tonight, I have to make an apology for last week. I have to apologize for my lack of cynicism.
I never thought that lack of cynicism would be a problem I would suffer from, but my bright eyed optimism for the future of the human race shone through last week like a lighthouse through the fog. When I made my predictions for last week, I said the following:
"Bottom two are: Evan and Ade, Jeanine and Melissa. I think Ade is great, but he was in the bottom last week. Evan should go home. We'll see what happens. Is his fan base really that strong? And for the ladies, Melissa is done."
What was wrong with this prediction? Very simply a little thing I like to call the cancer dance. As I'm sure you all remember, Ade and Melissa performed Tyce Diorio's interpretation of breast cancer... THROUGH DANCE. And when I watched it, I saw... THROUGH THE BULLSHIT. It was a pathetic, ridiculous attempt to tug heartstrings and Emmy ballots, and I called out Tyce for scripting it, and the judges for all sobbing and gesticulating on cue. I guess one might consider this a cynical point of view.
But my cynicism failed me when I predicted that they would go home. While I saw through the bullshit, I thought that the viewers at home would see right through it, too. But I was wrong. A true cynic would have realized that, not only was it bullshit, but it would work. So I apologize for the failure, and promise to do better this week. (And go ahead and fill in next year's Emmy ballot with Tyce Diorio's name under choreography while you are it. Fuckers.)
So we have a rough idea of what the smart grid is, other than an animated scarecrow attempting to commit suicide by throwing himself off a transmission tower. Now, we need to answer the tougher question: why do I want a smart grid?
There is no simple answer; there are maybe half a dozen compelling reasons why you want one. Over the next few days I'm going to talk about the 3 most important. Here's the first: the smart grid will allow distributed and renewable energy to flourish.
Solar panels, wind turbines, and other renewable technologies have been around for four decades or longer. As scientists and, later, society at large, have come to understand the importance of global warming, energy independence, and sustainability, a funny thing has happened: instead of it becoming easier to build renewable technology, it is becoming harder.
An example of the way this is becoming harder is the fight over net metering. In a net-metering setup, when you use electricity, the meter spins one way. When you make electricity, the meter spins backwards. At the end of the month, you might get a bill from the electric company, or you could get a check if you made more than you used.
Other than the worst, most befuddling Super Bowl ad in history, what is this?
When I first saw this ad, I was confused, and I am involved in the industry. The reason I'm writing about it now, seven months later, is that I can actually answer some of the questions this ad posed while refusing to answer. And there is so much to explain that it is going to take a few days. So sit back and relax as we embark on Smart Grid Week here at ObscureCraft.
I can already feel you tingling with excitement.
What is the smart grid?
Plug something into your wall outlet, and it comes on. Magic, right? Sorta. But how did the electricity get there, and where did it come from? This question is at the heart of understanding the smart grid.
Let's compare electricity to another utility, water. Somewhere in your area there is a reservoir filled with water. When you turn on the tap, you are taking a little bit of water out. When it rains, the reservoir fills back up. Because there is a reservoir, it does not have to be raining the instant you want water.
In the electric grid, there is no reservoir.When you turn that TV on and ask for that electricity, somebody, somewhere, at that exact moment, has to make a little more electricity for you. What? Yes. Really. How does that work?
It works through the use of peak load generation equipment. There are types of generators that must be on all the time (like a nuclear power plant) and there are types of generators that you can turn on and off (like a gas turbine). Because there is a minimum amount of electricity that is always being used somewhere, those huge "base load" plants can stay on. Then, when its a hot day and we all start turning on the air conditioning, regulatory agencies that monitor use on the grid can call up the guy with the gas turbine and tell him to fire it up.
This system is riddled with inefficiency. There is a huge time lag between when you turn on the AC, and when the gas turbine finally comes online. The regulators monitor the health of the grid by reading its voltage. As more and more demand occurs, the voltage on the grid drops. Regulators respond to this drop by calling the gas turbine guy. So anytime they call the gas turbine guy, its an emergency. These emergencies happen all the time. Because its an emergency, peaking generation equipment is not held to the same emissions standards that base load equipment is. When you turn on your air conditioner in the afternoon, you are using the dirtiest electricity imaginable.
Furthermore, the laws of supply and demand dictate that, when demand goes up, prices do to. Real-time prices for electricity move during the course of the day - except residential consumers typically have a rate that is locked in during the month. Therefore, the cost of electricity you pay has already factored in that you will use a certain amount of this more expensive electricity.
The smart grid would use digital technology to report on energy supply and demand in real-time. Consumers, producers, and regulators could all act on this information immediately, instead of minutes, hours, or in some cases, days later. The consequences of this change are wide reaching, and will have impacts on renewable energy implementation, efficiency of existing generation assets, and energy costs. How, exactly?
Sorry, this is only part one. Tune in tomorrow for more.
If you aren't watching So You Think You Can Dance this summer, then I have a question: what exactly ARE you watching?
It's been a long time since I was excited to watch reruns during the summer. Here is a short list of shows that made a splash thanks to summer runs in recent years: Damages, Generation Kill, Mad Men, Nip/Tuck (gag), The Shield, The Wire (if you could call it a splash), So You Think You Can Dance, Big Love, and Flight of the Conchords. Now they are all either off the air, or moved off to the fall season. So You Think You Can Dance, the last stalwart of summer TV that I could watch, is shuffling off to the fall this year.
Now I find myself excited to watch reruns of 30 Rock and The Office. I watch 3-4 hours of Family Guy on TBS every week. I'm regularly flipping to Food Network, hoping for Alton Brown or, god help me, Iron Chef America.
During the actual season, I don't even have time for everything! After recommending that you all watch Damages, I ended up bailing after 5 episodes. I didn't see the last 3 episodes of Flight of the Conchords. Big Love is one of Suzi's favorite shows, and she hasn't watched it in a season and a half since it moved to the fall.
Where is the cable hit show that's vying for my attention? Nurse Carmela Soprano on Showtime? HawthoRNe on TNT? Better Off Ted? Yawn, blech, wha? in that order. America's Got Talent came on the other night, and it took me a full 4 minutes to change the channel.
But most disturbing of all? Last night, I didn't even bother turning the TV on until after 9. I watched the rerun of South Park's "Imaginationland." Nothing else was on.
["Dear Prudence" is published weekly on Slate.com. To read the original article, click here.]
Dear Prudence OC, I've been happily married for more than 30 years, and I thought my husband and I had a truly loving relationship. My husband was recently hospitalized, and his boss asked me to carry my husband's cell phone so he could easily reach me for updates. My husband received a text message from a man saying that he was going to use him as a cover so he could visit another man in a neighboring town. This made me suspicious, so I looked in his wallet and found a visitor's pass to a gay men's health club. Then I found a gay porn DVD and Viagra in his gym bag. On his computer were gay Web sites. My husband had an excuse for everything. He said a man he works out with had given him the DVDs and the pass, and he didn't even know what they were. The Viagra was so he could be "ready" for me. He didn't know how the gay Web site cookies got on his computer. He said it was ridiculous that I could think he was gay after 30 great years together. I wanted to believe him. Last weekend, I came home unexpectedly and found him masturbating to gay porn. He said he wanted to see some porn, and this was the only thing he had because he didn't know where to get anything else. He thinks it's all no big deal. I'm devastated. I feel as if my whole marriage has been a sham, and I don't know what to do.
"Nigel, what's been the best part of the show for you"
"At it's best, television can reach out and unite the country, and I think that happened last night with Tyce's routine".
Tragically, I miss everything before this quote thanks to my DVR deciding to stop recording it, but I think it's all downhill from that. Apparently Barack Obama just needs to hire Tyce DiOrio as press secretary. Oh Jesus Christ, it's a clip show. What did I ever do to you, SYTYCD producers?
Maybe it's because I just started watching the show recently, but this is doing less than nothing for me. In fact, I'm wishing I had spent 11 hours writing Informix stored procedures at work instead of 10. But like a fatter and not as funny Joel McHale, I watch it for you, dear reader. Note the lack of plural there, I have no illusions.
Look: when I'm wrong, I'm wrong. And it turns out that I was wrong. Robert Pattison is not, as I claimed, the world's biggest douche.
First, I want to apologize to his fans who showed up to defend him. Particular ray, who had such nice things to say:
u all need to get over yourselfs cuz their is nothing wrong with him
and nothing wrong with any ones else that is trying to make a living at
what they are good at. What I think is that you are all jealous of
everyone cuz your nothing and will never amount to any thing
You are right, ray. And I thank you for showing me the error of my ways. And compared to Robert Pattison, I probably never will amount to anything. I'll never have such a majestic mustache. I'll never be able to tie a bowtie that well. And I'll never be Pennsylvania's 19th OR 21st governor.
Confused? See, so was I. I thought this was Robert Pattison:
But, as ray well knew, he is not. His name is Robert PattiNson, with an N. THIS is Robert Pattison, the man who I so vigorously denegrated (despite his deft deployment of the state militia to halt the Homestead Strike!):
So, to Robert Pattison, and fans like ray who hold his memory so dear: I apologize. And to Robert Pattinson: die in a house fire, you incredible douche.
I didn't have time yesterday to share these two news stories about dogs. First, death:
Gidget, aka the Taco Bell chihuahua, died of a stroke yesterday at age 15. Since her heyday as a starlet of the small screen, she'd briefly re-emerged in a GEICO commercial and in the sequel to Legally Blonde. Most tragic of all? I, in fact, no longer want Taco Bell.
Now, life:
Apparently a dog is now acting as a wet nurse for two red panda cubs in a zoo in China's Shanxi province.
According to this article from the Associated Press,
the mother of the cubs abandoned them as soon as they were born,
causing staff members to scramble to find an animal willing to give
them the nourishment they need. Zoo employees were unaware that the
mother panda was even pregnant.
Thankfully a dog from a local farmer stepped in to help nurse the
cubs. The canine, who belongs to a farmer from a nearby suburb, had
just given birth to a litter of puppies.
Why do I care about this story? Because of the picture of the dog happily nursing the two cubs. The first thing you should know is that red pandas are the most adorable animals. While adorability is arguably a subjective trait, I present this photograph as objective evidence:
As adorable as that is, imagine two of them suckling off an adorably ugly dog.
It's really cute. You wanna see it?
You do, right? Hi there little red panda cubs! YOU ARE SO CUTE.
Okay, the picture is after the jump. Because that much adorableness on the front page of ObscureCraft will make some people think I'm a sissy or summin.
That is a strong top 8. 3 hot girls, one butterface, 3 guys I really like, and Jason.
Cat Deeley looks great tonight. Even moreso in contrast to last Thursday, when she looked like she was hosting after hooking up with some guy in exchange for crack.
Who is that lesbian that isn't Mia Michaels? Ellen Degeneres is on the panel?!
I like Mia Michaels' hair tonight. Mostly because it covers her face.
Top 8
Travis, after his great routine last week, is back to choreograph the top 8. Everybody comes out for a futuristic rave routine; the dancers are all outfitted with lights or something. Nigel calls it "very Lady Gaga," which I guess is supposed to be a compliment.
They all love the costumes and the choreography, but I didn't like this at all. The choreography was just all 8 of them doing the same thing, which is what you do as a choreographer when you can't think of anything interesting to do.
You know why More To Love is so groundbreaking? Cause of all those fat chicks walking on the ground are breaking it! YES BURN ON YOU FAT LADIES.
The solar eclipse of July 22, 2009 was the longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, lasting as much as 6 minutes and 39 seconds in some places.
I've always wanted to see a solar eclipse. But this one, like all others, eluded me; the solar eclipse of July 22, 2009, aka today, was best seen from eastern China, India, and Nepal. FUCK. Not only do those sound like three of the worst places in the world to be in for ANY reason (they still have the plague! I mean, come on, the plague! really!), but they are on the other side of the world. The moon gets between the sun and the Earth, and then the stupid stupid Earth has to get between me and the moon getting between the sun and the Earth.
But you know who WAS in China to see the solar eclipse? Enemy of the blog Akiyo. As part of her work for an evil multinational corporation, she frequently travels to China. And she was there for the eclipse. And not just any eclipse, but the longest eclipse that will ever happen in anybody's lifetime. On her blog which I will never link to because we are enemies, she writes:
I was lucky enough to be in China where we watched full solar eclipse. (Everyone stopped work for good 30min.)
Wow! I didn't know that the Chinese were allowed stop working for a good 30 minutes total during the course of an entire week! And she has pictures! This is going to be amazing! Let's see one!!
Jesus fucking Christ, Akiyo, are you kidding me? From the other side of the world you are there for a solar eclipse, and it is more overcast than Ryan Reynolds*. I can't tell if that's an eclipse or just schmutz on the lens of your camera.
Just, I mean, wow. Akiyo, you have the worst luck in the world.
*Think about it, you'll get it in a second**.
**Didn't get it yet? Its cause he's in alot of shit, and he's not that good. Overcast. Over cast. GET IT??
I'm tired, and I'm cranky, and it's Monday, so I'm going to make this funny:
Since the accident Cam has been fighting for his life in a critical condition in Madrid. He suffered a broken shoulder, broken cheek bone, a ruptured liver and was knocked unconscious. Due to the rupture in his liver he had emergency surgery for internal bleeding. Thankfully surgeons were able to stop the bleeding.
At this stage Cam remains in a critical condition, however has improved over night. He has opened his eyes and is responding to instructions to raise his arms and squeeze his fiance Brooke's hand. This is great news, as there was bruising on his brain; the fact that he is responding to their commands is a really really good sign.
Less than 12 hours after the last box was loaded off the moving truck, a man rang my doorbell. When Suzi answered the door it was not, as expected, the pizza guy. It was a tall black man with a court officer's badge around his neck and a fistful of papers.
He was looking for the previous owner.
Now, I'm not really sure if I should be saying what the name of the previous owner is in connection with this matter. Legal stuff like this, like, serious legal stuff, makes me kind of nervous. So we're going to give him a pseudonym, just to be on the safe side. We'll call him. Mr. Screwed.
"Is Mr. Screwed here?" the tall black man with the court officer's badge asks.
Suzi shakes her head. "He doesn't live here anymore. He sold this place to us."
The tall black man was not immediately convinced, and asked if he could see Suzi's driver's license. She complied. Still not entirely convinced, he asked if he could come in for a few minutes. She complied. He came upstairs and found only me. Then he explained.
Mr. Screwed used to work for a man named Alan Stanford. If you watch the news, you already know where this is going, but if you don't, a brief explanation is in order. Sir Robert Alan Stanford was the chairman of Stanford Financial Group, a multi-billion dollar investment enterprise. Earlier this year, it was determined that Stanford and his company had been perpetuating a Ponzi scheme worth over $8 billion. Alan Stanford is Bernie Madoff, except he's a gentile. Oh, and he actually has a Hitler mustache. Seriously. Mr. Screwed is one of 60 or so employees who have been named in a lawsuit against Alan Stanford and his company. It is common for the SEC to file civil charges before criminal charges (Stanford, who was captured in February, was not formarly charged with a crime until June.) According to our visiting court officer, he had been trying to serve Mr. Screwed with his paper's for over a month. Furthermore, Mr. Screwed knew about the impending lawsuit, as he had been sent letters and had papers taped to his door.
Suddenly, it made alot more sense why Mr. Screwed had been living in Mexico City while he tried to sell his Houston townhome.
In a case like this, the SEC is not necessarily interested in pursuing criminal charges against a low-level figure liked Mr. Screwed. Cooperation in the civil phase of the process that helps them pin down the big guys later, will often result in leniency. I believe the legal phrase is "unindicted co-conspirator." However, when they run, and dance, and evade, and make the court officer come out looking for you at 10 o'clock on his Saturday night, then the odds that you are staring down hard time in prison go up, up, up.
Mr. Screwed made half a million dollars last year selling Stanford's phony paper. Now, he could be looking down the barrel of 10 years hard time.
Spoiler Alert: Kupono goes home, finally. Fuck you judges for making us watch his boring prancing this long. Interestingly enough, while standing in line, Steph and I discussed the show and came to the conclusion Randi and Kupono were probably going home just by virtue of sucking way more than anybody else. I may diss America a lot, but it certainly fucked up less than the judges this time!
I've been at Disney World the last week, funneling my wallet into Mickey Mouse's greedy, antisemitic mouth, so I'm just now watching it thanks to TV MAGIC. I am growing increasingly concerned for Nigel's sanity, Mary Murphy seems to have infected him.
With this episode, we reach the stage of the show where the Thursday episode is just sadistic. The lower voted dancers are still forced to cavort for their life, but with no ability to change the results, it's just one last chance to get browbeaten by the judges.
From friend of the site joem comes this snazzy video to help you wile (is it wile? while? whittle? wyle?) away your Friday afternoon, along with the following suggestion: "Jesse does the guy's part, and Suzi can be one of the girls."
According to Suzi, "les petit boudins" translates as "the little rolls". I haven't checked it, but I believe it. The French love rolls.
Suzi picked out the girl at the 0:54 second mark that rolls in looking like she hadn't gone to rehearsal, and, after a few seconds of half-heartedly trying to keep time, just starts jumping up and down and shaking her 1960's bra-less boobs. I approve. Also, the video becomes 10 times as entertaining if you know Suzi, and start imagining her doing that part.
Craigslist, I was wrong when I declared that we would be enemies for denying me the right to have an unpaid intern. It wasn't really your fault. It was Ryan Kaczmarek's fault. He's the one who should be my enemy.
But all is forgiven. Yes, I had to make the first steps of reconciliation by attempting to sell my couch through you. But then you came through for me in the most wonderful way. Did you send me a willing buyer? Perhaps some pneumatically enhanced 20-year-old whose soft lips couldn't wait to thank me for the great deal she was getting? No, you sent me something even better. A scam artist.
-- Hello, i will like to know if the above furniture is still available for sale?
I look forward to hearing from you! Thank you again Chris
From: Jesse To: Chris Marcus
The couch is still available. If you would like to come see it and maybe pick it up, let me know and we can set a time.
Please
be advised: this is an 8' long couch. So don't be surprised when you
see it and its pretty big. How much are you prepared to offer for it?
From: Chris Marcus To: Jesse
Hello, Thanks for the prompt response and i will like you to
withdraw the advert from Craigslist,i don't mind adding an extra $20
for you to take the advert down from craigslist so that i can be rest
assured that am in hand of the item.I don't have time to come take a
look. I will be paying via cashier's check,you don't need to bother
your self with the shipment Ok,i will take care of that.So i will need
you to provide me with the following information to facilitate the
mailing of the check.
1.Your full name 2.Your mailing address 3.Your phone number. I will have my mover come over as soon as you have the check Have a great day Chris
This is why Craigslist knows me so well. When I opened that last email and saw somebody was trying to scam me, I wasn't angry. Or disappointed. Or sad. Or any of those things. I was thrilled. Exhilarated.
Internet commerce always has that dash of danger, and seeing myself as the target of a scam was like reaching the slow climb to the top of a roller coaster, and then plummeting down the other side. No real danger, but the adrenaline rush comes all the same.
Was it your over-eagerness that tipped me off to the scam, Chris? Your offer of extra money to entice me to remove the ad? The offer to pay via cashiers check when the very first email I received from you advised me to look out for scammers offering to pay via cashiers check? All of these. None of these. I don't know. I don't want to over think the moment. Its too special. Let's just savor it.
Although you could have had the decency to ask me for my social security number, too. You know, like a real gentleman.
Ladies, is this attractive? Do you want to mate with this creature?
Since the baby must be an infant now, how did Wired get this photo from the future? Does Wired have a time machine? Because that seems like a more relevant cover story than "Brad Pitt and Josh Brolin's baby looks tired."
In the future, is it okay to wear Bluetooth headsets? Or are they surgically implanted into our ears?
Would you rather move once a year or get your prostate checked every other day? See, I think at this point I'd go with the prostate exam. Sure, it'd be uncomfortable at first, but you'd loosen up and get used to it, right? Yes, I'm watching this episode of So You Think You Can Dance surrounded by boxes and chaos yet again. Although on the plus side, one more move qualifies me as a gypsy and I get to start cursing people. WATCH YOUR BACK KEVIN.
So we have our top 10. While the top dancers are as talented as ever, there is a depressing amount of fat left to be trimmed. And I'm not just talking about Randi's thighs. I'm talking about you, Japono. (That's how I'm referring to Jason and Kupono from now on; if they are going to be identically mediocre performers, then I might as well not even bother remembering their separate names.)
Did anybody get a boner when Cat Deeley said je ne se qua? I would have except I already had one cause of her dress.
How else to explain this video of Obama throwing out the first pitch (as a lefty, of course):
Maybe he would have had more confidence throwing the ball if there was a teleprompter there. His pitch to the plate is about as good as his pitch for health care reform, AMIRITE?
Also, I promise that the picture is actually of her. This isn't a joke.
It's going to seem like a joke when you click and see the picture.
And it is a joke, sort of. Because its funny.
But not in a funny, like, ha ha, look at this stupid bitch, but more like, ha ha, look at this stupid bitch who is dating Jon Gosselin from Jon and Kate Plus 8.
There are even rumors they might be engaged. The rumor mill says he spent six figures on an engagement ring for her that she's been wearing around.
The engagement ring has a skull on it. A SKULL!!
That is bad ass.
He got the money by "liquidating some of his kids hard-earned assets", whatever that means. Does that mean he sold one of his kids? And if so, I had no idea kids sold for that much. I'm throwing Suzi's pills in the garbage tonight.
[Dear Sugar is published weekly on therumpus.net. For the original column, click here.]
Dear Sugar OC,
I am a thirty-something-year old woman who has been on the pill for awhile now. When I think about how much the pill has cost me over the years the number starts to upset me a little. Straight up: I think my current boyfriend should start sharing half the cost with me, but we rarely discuss money (in fact, the only costs we've split up until now are movie tickets and the price of dinner).What do you think? If you think it's a fair request, how do you think I should bring it up with him?
RIO DE JANEIRO - The Brazilian wife of former Canadian world
boxing champion Arturo Gatti has been charged with his murder, police
said Sunday.
Italian-born Gatti, who was 37, was found dead Saturday in the
holiday flat the couple had rented in the northern Brazilian seaside
resort of Porto de Galinhas.
Amanda Rodrigues, 23, was being held in custody in the Atlantic port city of Recife, capital of Pernambuco state, police said.
Gatti was found dead in his bed, strangled with the strap of a handbag. This 23 year old woman was somehow able to strangle a 37 year old boxing champion. Yes, he might have been asleep, but he presumably would have woken up, however briefly, when the strap was tightened around his throat.
Was he drugged? Why did she do it? How could she have done it? DID she do it? What is going to happen to their son? All unimportant. Once again, we see the most relevant detail to the Googling public is the appearance of the woman in question.
You know what really grinds my gears? Cars that are allegedly "boxy." Like these cars.
If you were a production designer on a Syfy Channel original production, and needed to create a car that looked like it was from the not-to-distant future, but you only had a budget of $75, and you also sucked at your job, then I imagine that this is what you would end up with. But instead, three different car companies have invested millions in production design to come up with a car that looks like it has a learning disability.
See that one on the right? The one that looks like it should be called the Nissan Special Needs? They actually went so far as to call it the Nissan Cube. The Cube, Nissan? NO. NO. THIS IS A CUBE.
THIS IS A CUBE. CUBE. CUBE. HYPERCUBE.
The point is, you can't make a car that is a cube, and then say, "oh no, if we make a car that is a cube, it will have dangerously sharp corners and we'll have nowhere to put the wheels" and then puss out and round it all off, but then still call it a cube as if nothing happened. Your car is, AT BEST, a pair of rectangular prisms set next to each other with their corners rounded with a varying radius of curvature.
Is that too much of a mouthful for you, Nissan? Well, you're in luck, because I've invented a name for just that shape. It's called the Fugly. You're welcome.
Look it was that or The Final Frontier. I'm dosed to shit on cold medicine so this will probably be evenmore rambling and stream of consciousness than normal. Cat Deeley is wearing a short dress but it has giant bling so that's halfway to normal. Not halfway to normal is the opening routine, a NappyTabs set to Seven Nation Army. I liked the costuming though.
Now we'll find out the FINAL TEN. The judges will get one last chance to kick off someone more talented in favor of Kupono then it's America's turn. Fortunately, these recaps are getting shorter since there's less and less content, but the filler will be agonizing.
Governor Rick Perry, we need to talk. I know you're terrified of Kay Bailey Hutchinson beating you in the Republican primary next year, but you already won the far right over with your stimulus denying and secessionism. Sarah Palin is even supporting you! You really don't need to do this:
Cynthia Dunbar, R-Richmond, who advocated more Christianity in the public square last year with the publication of her book, One Nation Under God, is among those that Gov. Rick Perry is considering to lead the State Board of Education, some of her colleagues say.
. . . .
In a book published last year, Dunbar argued the country's founding fathers created "an emphatically Christian government" and that government should be guided by a "biblical litmus test." She endorses a belief system that requires "any person desiring to govern have a sincere knowledge and appreciation for the Word of God in order to rightly govern."
Also in the book, she calls public education a "subtly deceptive tool of perversion."
The establishment of public schools is unconstitutional and even "tyrannical," she wrote, because it threatens the authority of families, granted by God through Scripture, to direct the instruction of their children.
Dunbar home-schooled her own children.
. . . .
"It would certainly cause angst among the same members of the pagan left that rejected Don McLeroy because he was a man of faith," said David Bradley, R-Beaumont, one of the seven socially conservative members on the 15-person board."
You cannot possibly be seriously considering appointing someone who believes that public schools should be destroyed to head the public school system. It's gotta be hard being a (probably) gay Republican governor, especially when you only slipped through election last time because there were four major candidates running. That 39% support has to sting, especially since Kay Bailey Hutchinson is a hell of a stronger candidate than any of them. But this really isn't going to do anything. The far right loves you thanks to your ceaseless pandering, and she's shown no desire to be anything but a typical Southern right winger. More of this is actually going to hurt as a whole lot of Texas Republicans who aren't completely crazy are going to jump ship.
Oh, and the whole "selling out every public school student in Texas' future" part.
Jim, admit it. You're tired of New York. The modern day Sodom. Homosexuals everywhere, with their alluringly promiscuous lifestyle and impeccable abs. It's just a matter of time until they convert you and everyone you know into a gay marriage, which is a thing that happens. How can you fight back?
Well, you could keep them out of your restaurants. That would help. Or, even better, you could just give every homosexual you met a life threatening brain injury. But STUPID NEW YORK, AKA SODOM says you can't do that. It's illegal. It's discriminatory.
Well, they've figured out how to handle that problem here in Texas, Jim: Just call the cops to do it for you.
EL PASO -- Two gay men kissed at a Chico's Tacos
restaurant, prompting guards to eject them and a police officer to
endorse their ouster.
Civil-rights lawyers say the security staff was
out of line. Police, though, contend that a business such as a
restaurant can refuse service to anybody, any time.
In all, five men were ordered to leave the restaurant. They say they were forced out by homophobic guards.
[One of the five men Carlos Diaz] de Leon quoted one of the guards as saying he didn't allow "that faggot stuff" in the restaurant.
FORT WORTH -- The grand opening sign still hangs above the door of the
Rainbow Lounge, but the recently opened dance club has already become a
rallying point for gay men and lesbians here, after a raid by law
enforcement last week left one man hospitalized with a head injury and
prompted complaints of brutality.
[...] Chad Gibson, a 26-year-old computer technician from Euless, about 15
miles northeast of Fort Worth, suffered a concussion, a hairline
fracture to his skull and internal bleeding after officers slammed his
head into a wall and then into the floor, witnesses and family members
said. Mr. Gibson was still hospitalized on Friday evening as doctors
monitored a blood clot in his brain, his mother, Karen Carter, said.
In other news, I heard there was a movement in the Texas legislature to change the state motto from "Friendship" to "We don't allow that faggot stuff here." Truly a blessed land, Jim.
Tonight we trim the fat in many ways. We whittle the group down to the top 10 (who get to go on tour!) AND the dancer's will be performing twice, eliminating all the interminable fluff from last week. This will also be the last week we get our familiar pairings; next week, the pairings are randomized along with the performance styles.
And since this is the last chance for the judges to shape the top 10, we should have learned enough to figure out who will be cut tomorrow night.
But enough about that - look at Cat Deeley tonight! She is rocking a gorgeous retro look tonight that is floating my boat all the way up onto the dock, if you know what I mean*.
Is two enough to make a trend? As I've told the Suze many times, you need at least two points to define a line, and three points to define a plane. But I've got two points, and I'm running with it.
Not-quite-a-lock-but-dying-tragically-might-help-his-case-for-the-Hall-of-Fame quarterback Steve McNair was shot three times by his girlfriend Sahel Kazemi late last week. Kazemi was also found shot, although it isn't clear, at least to me, if she shot her own self or if McNair shot her in self-defense. Or if he shot her, and then she shot him three times in self defense. Whatever happened, the point is they are dead.
McNair had a girlfriend, but was also a married man. He is at the nexus of two recent trends: the celebrity death (McMahon thru Jackson) and the celebrity infidelity scandal (Governor Sanford, et al). In the case of the deaths, the internet zeitgeist lit up with searches for details: cause of death, autopsy reports, and so on. But in the case of McNair and Sanford, there was different wrinkle. The internet lit up with searches for images of the women in question.
The internet wants to make sense of the infidelity. It wants to see pictures of the wives and girlfriends involved. The first place the cultural zeitgeist goes to justify, or at least understand the actions of these men is:
Is she hot?
Even more disappointing than the question is the answer.
Sarah Palin's resignation wasn't merely a slightly shocking political development on a Friday afternoon (truly the time when slightly shocking political developments usually occur, as politicians attempt to bury more pertinent news). It was the end of my dreams.
The Republican Party cannot possibly still be considering this woman for anything now, right? Now that she voluntarily left her office a year and a half before she had to run for second term because she didn't want to be a lame duck during that year and a half even though running again technically meant she wouldn't be a lame duck, she has to be done, professionally and politically. There is no conceivable way that anybody at the national level would envision her for anything, anymore.
Sadly though, this means the death of my dream. Nothing entertained me more than listening to Republicans gnash their teeth about beating Obama in 2012 by responding, "Yeah, and with that Palin-Jindal dream ticket, how can you lose?"
I hate losing a good retort to reality.
What's Left Unsaid: I ought to note though that there are still Republiservative bloggers who are touting her move as strategically brilliant preparation for her ascension to the White House in 2012. This includes noted moron Bill Kristol. He is also, incidentally, an idiot.
This recap will be on the briefer side since I have to get ready for the first annual ObscureCraft Retreat. I've been warned that the results are "Shocking". Evan better not get thrown off, that's all I have to say.
First off are Karla and Vitolio aka the KV club SEE JESSE I'M USING IT. Also Randi and Evan. One is safe, one in danger. KV nailed the quickstep as much as it could be done, but Randi and Evan are lovable and also Evan is wearing a large white bowtie. I'd miss either of them. The quickstep remains the kiss of death. Nigel says "they're no stranger to the bottom 3 they'll adjust". Not a good omen.
Jeanette and Brandon - they did the cha cha, the judges and OC SO Steph liked it, I found Brandon's feminine manners offputting. Safe.
Kayla and Kupono - I love weird contemporary routines and this one worked for me despite Kupono being annoying. It was a little high concept, but not as weird as the alien impregnation routine so the weird voters might vote them instead. High risk of being in the bottom. ...and they are. Kupono is living on borrowed time. Mia liked the weird contemporary routine, STOP THE PRESSES. She also blatantly says she'll vote to keep them.
Melissa and Ade - Pas de Deux, still boring. Yes it was performed well, but it was boring. I'll take zombies fucking aliens any day. Safe.
Caitlin and Jason had the aforementioned routine. In an increasingly common occurance, I find myself disliking the male dancers but loving the women. Last season there were so many great male dancers. Anyway despite my annoyance I think Jason went all in and rocked it. Safe. The weirder voters do in fact turn out, even though the zombie routine was better.
Jeanine and Philip - LOVE LOCKDOWN A LOVE LOCKDOWN GET YOUR LOVE LOCKDOWN. This was a fun routine despite his annoying face. Don't lie, we were all hoping for him to trip on the chain. Philip go home you are in the bottom three even in your element with a gimmick performance set to KANYE. That's a freebie.
Nigel lets us know that people like different things, THANKS. Mary rambles about something that I don't pay attention to. Did Mia Michaels even say anything? As promised I am fast forwarding through the guest dancers before I slip into a permanent coma.
What is this commercial about attractive people trying to sell fat surly nerds cell phones. Here at ObscureCraft we are all about surly nerds but this commercial is terrible.
Karla is as beautiful as ever but the solo seems slow and unimpressive. Probably trying to avoid the 'desperate' charges from last time. She's really pushing her luck with that one.
Vitolio, RASCAL FLATTS? What the hell Vitolio, what the hell? The only notable thing was blatantly squeezing in a spin after the buzzer. He won me over with the quickstep, but then he overused the 'kiss of joy' comment, it wasn't funny the first time dammit.
Kayla. And now Sarah MacLachlan. Increasingly strange solo music choices this weekend. I know a lot more about music than dance, maybe that's why I focus on the song selection more than the style. Kayla is definitely safe.
Kupono - Cut off jean shorts? At least he's cutting down on the bling a little bit. Meeeh. Oh God Kelly Clarkson is performing WHYYYYYY
Jeanine is also great. I would send all three guys home and keep all three girls. In my basement.
Philip argh why does your annoying face ruin a great solo. This was the standout of the guys but he's been pretty blah in the weekly dances so he's not entirely safe. Safest of the three though.
Wasn't Kelly Clarkson young and skinny at one point?
Unanimous on the girls. "We don't talk about you Jeanine.. but it was brilliant." Get to InTrade and sell Karla fast. Kayla - "Judge's and choreographer's favorite. Not dancing from the heart". Karla "A very good dancer but...." she's done. Didn't even pay attention after that. And right, she's done. Sorry Jesse. You get one last montage to finish up.
Unanimous on the guys too. Philip is "unique and superb at what he does. A little desperate" Goddamnit this is the most annoying criticism. He and his obnoxious face are safe. Kupono tries to jack Vitolio's spot. "Great presence, but don't really deliver anything apart from that". Kupono "Such a weak solo." But he sounds safe. AGAIN. DESPITE BEING TERRIBLE EVERY WEEK. GODDAMNIT WHY? Max and now Vitolio sacrificed on the altar of their inexplicable lust for Kupono.
Before we begin, I have to apologize to my audience that reads this every week about getting this out a day late. Sorry, Kevin.
This week, in addition to the usual running side commentary from the Suze, we are visited by Rose, the official sister of Obscurecraft.net, and OC contributor Daytrader.
And DT immediately points out something that has somehow eluded me during the credits, which is that Kupono's name is showed with a bar over the U in his name. Is this So You Think You Can Pronounce?
This episode also starts off on Rose's bad side: "That was a really lame opening, they all hit there spot at the wrong time." Shit, Rose is really particular.
This week's Cat Deeley fashion update: a bright pink 1980's prom dress with a wide sparkly belt. Only Cat Deeley could pull that dress off. Well, her and her boyfriend. GOD I HATE HIM.
Everybody in the room boos when Mia Michaels is revealed as the guest judge. Rose: what is that shirt? Rose has a point, as she appears to be either wearing the puffy shirt from Seinfeld, or she's just tucked an enormous napkin into her jacket so she doesn't get orange Cheetoh dust all over her.
As we all know, blogs (and sometimes Craigslist) are the sole reason print journalism is in decline. And because of all this blogging, they've had to get creative. Not in doing better research, or having the best writers, but in... let's euphemistically call it "finding alternative revenue sources".
""Underwriting Opportunity: An evening with the right people can alter the debate," says the one-page flier. "Underwrite and participate in this intimate and exclusive Washington Post Salon, an off-the-record dinner and discussion at the home of CEO and Publisher Katharine Weymouth. ... Bring your organization's CEO or executive director literally to the table. Interact with key Obama administration and congressional leaders."
The flier promised the dinner would be held in an intimate setting with no unseemly conflict between participants. "Spirited? Yes. Confrontational? No," it said. "The relaxed setting in the home of Katharine Weymouth assures it. What is guaranteed is a collegial evening, with Obama administration officials, Congress members, business leaders, advocacy leaders and other select minds typically on the guest list of 20 or less. ...
Let's be clear about this, they are saying that for a $25,000 bribe, the Washington Post will 'alter the debate' in lobbyists' favor. However, they don't use profanity, unlike those foul mouthed bloggers. And isn't civility what really counts?
(After getting caught, they're cancelling the event and pretending it was all a big misunderstanding. Also interestingly, despite the promises no Obama administration officials had actually agreed to attend.)
[Dear Prudence is published weekly on Slate.com. For the original article, click here.]
Dear Prudence OC, I have been married for seven years, but I am still troubled by how to
speak openly about masturbation with my spouse. I masturbate pretty much every
morning after getting up and every evening before I go to bed, unless I think
my wife and I will make love. The problem is that my wife sees my masturbation
as a declaration that she does not please me, which is not true. I enjoy our
lovemaking, and I'd prefer to make love to her as often as I masturbate; she's
simply not interested in doing it that often. (Believe me, I've tried.)
Moreover, she complains that I "take too long" and says she would be
more willing if I were "normal" and didn't last so long. My wife also
has suggested there is something wrong with me for wanting to make love or masturbate
as often as I do. I accept that I'll never be able to make love to my wife as
often as I would like, but how do I convey to her that masturbation is normal
and that she shouldn't see it as evidence that she's inadequate?
Let it be said that reasonable people can disagree. They can disagree on politics, food, music, and the relative hotness of Olivia Wilde compared to Megan Fox. But when the source of the disagreement is not facts but ideology, the results can appear, to an outsider, kinda sorta maybe crazy.
See, I understand Glenn Beck on a certain level. He loves the Republican Party, and the conservative movement. Fine. I love the Yankees. I'm not saying I love the Yankees more than I love my wife. I'm just saying its a good thing I've never had to choose, Sophie's Choice-style. But I love them alot. So, when presented with a player on the Red Sox, I cannot judge his abilities as a baseball player rationally. I understand this. Kevin Youkilis was batting .400 through the month of May? So fucking what, he fucking sucks because he's a piece of shit Red Sox douchebag.
The difference between a love of the Yankees and a love of a political ideology is that the stakes are much, much lower. Its okay to be unreasonable about your sports team because there is no chance the Red Sox are going to detonate a weapon of mass destruction in Yankee Stadium. But when your love of an ideology leads you to wistfully hope for the murder of thousands of Americans to prove your point, you are no longer part of the same discussion as the rest of us. You are on the lunatic fringe.
Listen to the interview again. I've excerpted the relevant part below:
MICHAEL SHEUER (aka bearded crazy person): The only chance we have as a country right now is for Osama Bin Laden to deploy and detonate a major weapon in the United States [...] Only Osama can execute an attack which will force Americans to demand that their government protect them effectively, consistently, and with as much violence as necessary.
GLENN BECK (aka clean shaven crazy person): Which is why I was thinking this weekend that, if I was him, that would be the last thing I would do right now.
Read that again: Glenn Beck actually thinks that Osama Bin Laden will not attack the US under the current circumstances, and this is a problem for him. We need to be attacked so that we are protected, because if we aren't attacked, then we are unprotected. What? WHAT?!? What do we need protection from if he's not going to attack? What are you talking about, Glenn Beck?
If preventing an attack is the goal, then by Beck's own logic, we are succeeding! So that must mean that preventing terrorist attacks aren't actually the goal. In fact, terrorism is just a means to an end, a way of instilling a fear in the populace that conservatives can use to their political ends.
But we already knew that, of course. It's just surprising to hear someone finally come out and admit it.
Solar panels, wind turbines, and other renewable technologies have been around for four decades or longer. As scientists and, later, society at large, have come to understand the importance of global warming, energy independence, and sustainability, a funny thing has happened: instead of it becoming easier to build renewable technology, it is becoming harder.
