[Actress Farrah Fawcett and noted child rapist Michael Jackson both died today. Fawcett succumbed to anal and liver cancer, and Jackson suffered from heart failure. Fawcett was 62. Jackson was of varying ages, depending on which part of him we're talking about.]

The bad news is former actress and model Farrah Fawcett has died from anal cancer. The good news is I only had "anal" left on my celebrity cancer bingo card.

Farrah's former husband, Six Million Dollar Man star Lee Major, upon hearing the news, remarked that he regretted his bionic upgrades included a radioactive cock.

What do you get when you cross Farrah Fawcett with an anal tumor?
- A pain in the ass with a pain in the ass.

What's the difference between Steve Jobs and Farrah Fawcett?
- Their position on the organ donor recipient list.

Did you know that Farrah Fawcett was up for the Ali McGraw role in Love Story?
-  She would have been great, she would just have to play herself.

What's the difference between the Tin Man and Michael Jackson?
- One went to the wizard to ask for a heart, and the other molested children.

What do you get when you cross Michael Jackson with the Empire State Building?
- A structurally unstable building that died of heart failure.

And, unfortunately, somebody thought of this before me:



Thanks to OC tipper Joe, via.