It was love at first sight. Yes, I still remember exactly when I first laid eyes on you. You were so beautiful, so exotic. I could hardly believe you were real. I brought you home, still unsure of my love, but then I tasted you, and I drank you in. God, you were amazing. I had you again and again. I could never get my fill.

But after the move, things haven't been the same between us. You aren't as available as you used to be. I began to see you less and less. And in your place, there appeared another. Different, and yet so similar. And also beautiful and exotic. One day, with you once again nowhere to be found, I gave into temptation. And I'm afraid that I haven't really looked back since.

I'm sorry things had to end this way between us, Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. But the supermarket I go to doesn't stock you, and this weekend you weren't even in Target. And I realized I wasn't sad. Because I had Cherry Coke Zero waiting for me at home.