"Statistics provided by the candidates, who claim more than 100% of those eligible have cast their ballot in 80-170 cities are not accurate -- the incident has happened in only 50 cities," [Iranian Guardian Council Spokesman Abbas-Ali] Kadkhodaei said.

My mind turns, as it often does, to Maury Povich. When he isn't extracting DNA from unwilling potential fathers, Maury helps scorned women identify the depth and breadth of their mates' infidelity. A lie detector test administrator will ask the men: "Have you cheated on your wife Loquacia with her sister Felicia?" "Have you cheated on your girlfriend Mandy with her best friend Rwanda?" and so on. For the most tawdry of circumstances, investigation of individual indiscretions is abandoned in favor of a shotgun approach.

"You were asked, Have you cheated on your girlfriend Stacy more than 5 times? You said no. The lie detector test determined, [pause for dramatic effect], that was a lie.

You were asked, Have you cheated on Stacy more than 10 times? You said no. The lie detector test determined, that was a lie."

You were asked, Have you cheated on Stacy more than 25 times? You said no. The lie detector test determined... you were telling the truth."

At some point, a number would presumably be reached where he would be able to tell the truth. But even the guests on Maury know better than to get up and celebrate their "passing" of the test after so many failures. It is a just a brief respite before the wailing and kicking and running backstage. The Iranian government, however, has stood up triumphantly and spread its arms.

Baby, stop bein' all crazy! I didn't cheat on you no 170 times, word? It was just that 50 times, and the margin of victory was so big that it didn't mean nothin to me, baby, it didn't mean NOTHIN.