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["Dear Abby" is a syndicated column published weekly. For the original column, click here.]
My husband and I had a falling-out with his parents last October. We sent them an e-mail in December to let them know we have no desire to keep our children -- ages 5 and 6 -- from them. We feel it is important that they have a good relationship with their grandparents even though we don't.
My in-laws never responded and have made no attempt to see the children. They do send cards to them for holidays and birthdays, however.
While we accept that they want nothing to do with us, the kids keep asking why they don't get to see Nana and Papa anymore. We tell them that Nana and Papa love them very much, but are very busy. My in-laws live just 10 minutes away.
Abby, how do I continue to explain this situation to my children? They have done nothing wrong, and my heart breaks for them. -- DON'T BLAME THE KIDS
Five words that will solve everything: "Nana and papa are dead."
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My
son will graduate in June from a college in the Northeast. We live way
down south. I am sending a few invitations to announce the occasion. No
one is expected to make the trip for the event.
If people send only congratulatory cards, is a thank-you in order if no gifts are received? -- GRAD'S MOM
Here's
how I break it down. If there is no gift, then I make a photocopy of my
ballsack and I send it to them. Up to $10 will get you ignored, and I
will even piss on you if you are on fire. Chip in $50 and you get a
polite nod if I ever see you again. It's at least $100 to get a thank
you card.
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I am a single woman in my mid-20s and
am in the process of buying my first home. It is a great house and not
necessarily a typical "starter" home.
My issue is many friends and acquaintances keep asking me how much I am
purchasing the home for and how can I afford it. I was raised that to
ask about someone's financial situation is rude and intrusive. Am I
right, or has this become acceptable? -- VEXED IN TEXAS
If I
had a very close friend or a family member who was buying what seemed
like alot of house, I might ask them how they could afford it if I felt
they might be digging themselves a financial hole. It is up to you to
determine if the source of the question is concern or nosiness. Concern
is fine, although you shouldn't be compelled to divulge more details
than you are comfortable with. If its nosiness, you should tell them,
"shucks, y'all, I'm just so blessed!" which in Texas, of course, is the
equivalent of MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. Ya'll are so polite!
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