jesse
@ April 3, 2009


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(Note: I am going to be swearing an entire fuckload in this article. Be forewarned, cocksuckers.)

Eastbound and Down is a comedy for those who think that swear words are, in and of themselves, fucking hilarious. A former major league pitching phenom with a mean streak (think John Rocker, except with the world's best mullet ever) falls from grace and is forced to move back to his shithole hometown and live with his brother's family and work at the local elementary school as a gym teacher. 

Kenny Powers, as played by Danny McBride (owner of the aforementioned mullet) deals with the horrible failure that is his life by pretending it is no failure at all. Fat, foul-mouthed, addicted to drugs, and no longer able to bring the heat, Kenny nonetheless sees himself as a star on the way back to the majors, momentarily gracing the dickweed residents of Shelby, North Carolina with his presence. Residents that are sometimes played by Will Ferrell in a blond wig.



As far as I can tell, the entire show is basically an excuse for Danny McBride to have an awesome mullet and swear in front of kids. And really, is there ever a time when swearing in front of kids is not just incredibly fucking hilarious?


The show is devoid of anything resembling sentimentality. You don't feel sorry for Kenny and his pathetic life, you revel in it.  Speaking of reveling: watch this clip of Kenny dancing in an effort to woo back his high-school sweetheart after taking Ecstasy.  My new favorite dance move of all time is at the 45 second mark (sorry, running man).


I'm only three-episodes in to the initial six-episode run, so I don't know if Kenny ever makes it back to the majors (in the last episode he started taking steroids to jump-start his training regimen), but I hope he doesn't.  I'm sure he'd still swear, but it'd be less fun to watch without so many children around.

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I watched this when it was airing on HBO. It is FUCKING HILARIOUS. Rose can't watch it because she thinks that Kenny Powers is too gross, but I made her watch it anyway. I wish the season was longer than six episodes though.

I hope I didn't discourage anyone from watching it because I gave it two thumbs up.

You've discouraged me, and I just wrote this.

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