People used to have hobbies. In the age of the internet, when people with the same hobby are better able to connect, these hobbies can blossom into obsessions. Want to know if you have a hobby or an obsession? Check your vocabulary.
If I need an English-to-nerd dictionary to understand you, then you have an obsession. And I'm not just talking about you nerds that are fluent in Klingon or Entish. At my last job, we had a group of guys who started playing bridge together at lunch. I became obsessed. How can I tell?
Here are a
couple of
signs. And yes, bitches still be coffeehousin.
I'm convinced now that one of the things that drew me to bridge in the first place was the expansive set of vocabulary behind it. I might have an obsession with glossaries. And today I found an awesome one at
Paul Lucas' Uni Watch blog. Uni Watch is the blog for sports uniforms obsessives.
Like this guy. And check
this fucker out. (Where do you even wear jerseys? I have one jersey, a Mariano Rivera road jersey that I love, but I never wear it. To the supermarket? The mall? What am I, 12 years old?)
Regardless of my own uni-collecting desires, I am now all about uniform design, because now I can use some of the following terms thanks to the
Uni Watch glossary:
Blood jersey: A jersey with a uniform number not currently assigned to anyone on the roster, and with no player name,
to be used if a player's regular jersey becomes blood-stained, torn, or
otherwise unwearable during the course of a game. Sort of an "In case
of emergency, break glass" jersey.
Hockey may be lame, but it has all the best uniform terminology. For example:
Cooperalls: Long hockey pants worn by the Flyers and Whalers in the early 1980s. Named after their manufacturer, Cooper. Banned by the NHL after two seasons.
Or how about:
Fight strap: A fabric strap sewn into the back inner side of a hockey jersey,
connecting to the back of the player's pants. This prevents a player
from quickly removing his jersey during a fight (which would be a major
advantage, since it would give him more freedom of movement and give
his opponent nothing to hold onto). Fight straps are mandatory on all
NHL jerseys.
Decal: The proper term for an press-on adhesive graphic on a sports helmet. Don't say, "sticker"; say, "decal."
Another way to tell you are obsessed: you get upset when somebody uses the wrong terminology. (Don't. Say. Sticker. Don't you fucking dare.)
Spat or spatting: Athletic tape applied to a football player's cleats and ankles -- sometimes for support, sometimes for style. Pioneered on the football field by Colts great Lenny Moore, whose nickname was, of course, Spats.
And, if you are still wondering:
Squatchee: The little button on top of a baseball cap. Apparently coined by broadcaster Bob Brenly.
So, you see, technically it was showing. That's what makes it so funny.
