"A 63-year-old attorney based in Lafayette, La., who asked not to be named, told ABCNews.com that she plans to cut back on her business to get her annual income under the quarter million mark should the Obama tax plan be passed by Congress and become law.

"We are going to try to figure out how to make our income $249,999.00," she said."

Current marginal tax rate for the highest earners: 33%

Proposed marginal tax rate for highest earners in the Obama plan: 36%

Before the math, a hypothetical: does this constitute class warfare? Find the answer at the end of the column.

Now, a math question. You earn $255,500, placing you in the top tax bracket of 33%. The rates for this bracket increase to 36%. Barring any other changes in the tax code, how much does your tax bill increase?

Here is the math that people like Unnamed 63-Year-Old Attorney appear to be doing:

$255,500 * (36% - 33%) = $7,665

Oh god! That brings you below $250,000! That means you are being penalized for making more! Class warfare! CLASS WARFARE!!

Here is the problem: you, Unnamed 63-Year-Old Attorney, are an idiot. I hope for the love of god you aren't a tax attorney. Here is how the math actually looks:

($255,500 - $250,000) * (36%-33%) = $165

That's right, boys and girls: the money you earn gets taxed based on the bracket it belongs in. An example: If the tax rate up to $50,000 is 20%, up to $100,000 is 25%, up to $250,000 is 30%, and over is 35%, then people who earn over $250,000 get their taxes calculated, not like this:

Income * 35% = tax bill

It gets calculated like this:

$50,000 * 20% + ($100,000 - $50,000) * 25% + ($250,000 - $100,000) * 30% + (Income - $250,000) * 35% = tax bill

The thing is, I'm betting all of you know that, because you aren't learning disabled like Unnamed 63-Year-Old Attorney. The real question here isn't how to solve the math problem, but rather: why do we have a news story from a major outlet like ABC News about people like this that isn't focused on how they are retarded and our underfunded educational system has failed them? It's like reading a piece of hard-nosed investigative journalism about where did Frankie's ball go. IT IS UNDER THE COUCH FRANKIE.

(The answer to the hypothetical: 36% tax rates only quantify as class warfare if you believe that we were engaged in class warfare during the 1990s before the Bush tax cuts. But the politics are really a story for another day.)

(Okay, this reminds me of something else: last time I was home during the day, I was watching an episode of Maury where a man vehemently denied paternity of his girlfriend's child because she was unfaithful to him. Right before they cut to his testimonial video, she shouts at him, "Yeah but it was with a woman!" and his face, which is on a big screen right behind Maury as he tosses to the video, is completely stunned: "Oh I didn't know that" he mutters right before we get a video telling us all about he ain't the father of DeShawn. He spends the rest of the segment feeling incredibly contrite and embarrassed as Maury goes through the motions before revealing that YOU ARE THE FATHER. That's what should have happened to this story: the reporter should have told the attorney that the tax increase would only apply to that portion of their earnings above $250,000, followed by a quick, embarrassed, "Oh I didn't know that.")