Into The Ovens: Jalapeno PO-TAY-TO Salad

jesse

@ March 25, 2009

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Half a mile from my apartment is a shack. But its not just any shack. It's a burger shack. It's Bubba's Texas Burger Shack.

burger poetry, originally uploaded by craftj2.

Why is that picture so dark? Well, legend has it that a few years ago, when the new Westpark Tollway was being built, the Texas Department of Transportation had purchased all of the right-of-way they needed except for one little plot at the end of the road. On this plot stood a little burger shack. TxDOT tried and tried to get the little burger shack to sell, but they weren't interested. "Sell us your plot," TxDOT cried, "or we'll build the highway right over you!" "Go ahead," replied the burger shack. "Build the highway over us. People will still come to our burger shack, and they will eat in the shade."

burger shack, originally uploaded by craftj2.

And eat in the shade they do. The place has it all - buffalo meat, Boylan creme soda, an incredible run-down shack, and an off-the-charts burger patty melt. Rye bread, buffalo meat, American cheese, fried onions and jalapenos, and special sauce.

They also have an incredible jalapeno potato salad. This recipe marks my first attempt to reproduce it at home. But it will not be the last.

And if you are asking, "But Jesse: the burger shack is so close to where you live, and the jalapeno potato salad only costs 99 cents. Why not just go there and buy it?" The answer is this. You cannot go to Bubba's Texas Burger Shack just to buy jalapeno potato salad. You might think that's what you are doing, but the next thing you know you have a half-pound of burger crammed into your face, and you weigh 400 pounds. Be warned.

_DSF6459, originally uploaded by craftj2.

Ingredients:

5 red Russett PO-TAY-TOS
1/4 cup chopped onion
2 jalapenos, chopped
2 celery ribs, chopped
2 hard-boiled eggs, chopped
1/4 cup mayonnaise
3 tablespoons spicy mustard
1 tablespoon hot sauce
1 teaspoon cumin
some random amount of pepper, because no recipe ever says how much pepper to put in, they just say to taste, JUST TELL ME HOW MUCH GODDAMN PEPPER TO PUT IN

Peel and cube the PO-TAY-TOS, then drop them in a pot of boiling water for about 15 minutes, or until they are tender. While they are cooking you will also want to hard boil those eggs. Don't know how to hard boil an egg? Then look it up - this isn't egg class.

_DSF6462, originally uploaded by craftj2.

While those things are cooking, chop the onions, celery, and jalapenos. I'm going to repeat the same admonishment I gave you last time we used jalapenos: You should wear latex gloves when cutting the jalapenos, and wash your hands and the knife after you are done. Also, and I cannot stress this enough: do not touch your eyes or your genitals while you are handling jalapenos.

_DSF6463, originally uploaded by craftj2.

Combine the mayonnaise, mustard, hot sauce, and spices together in a bowl and mix them together.

_DSF6473, originally uploaded by craftj2.

Once your eggs are done hard boiling, peel and chop them. Drain the PO-TAY-TOS and combine everything into a large bowl. Toss the ingredients together so that your sauce coats everything. It will make your bowl look kind of like egg salad. But it is not egg salad. It is JALAPENO PO-TAY-TO SALAD and it is delicious. You are supposed to chill it overnight, but if you are anything like me you'll start eating it right away. Because you are a filthy glutton.

_DSF6479, originally uploaded by craftj2.

This came out pretty good. I'd give it three out of five bubbas (bubbas, of course, are the units by which the quality of JPS is measured), but there are other recipes out there that I intend to try. So stay tuned.