Before we get to our winners and losers, some winners and losers from last night.
WinnersExploitation of Indian children by Hollywood
Adorable Japanese men
Homos
The Holocaust (again)
Cuba Gooding Jr.
Losers
Early bedtimes
David Fincher's patience for this shit
My boner (thanks, Sophia Loren!)
Anyone who listened to my predictions
Tier 1: Full RetardKevin: 26 points
Rose: 28 points
Greg: 29 points
Jesse: 32 points
Never go full retard. Collectively 1/4 on Best Actress, 0/4 on Supporting Actress, 0/4 on Foreign Language Film, 2/8 on the Screenplay awards. Jesus Christ, only one of us figured out that the costume drama would win Best Costume!
Tier 2: The Non-ContendersDaytrader: 35 points
The Suze: 35 points
Krista: 35 points
Steph: 36 points
Jim: 37 points
Special props to Daytrader for being the only one of two players to nail the top 4 categories. Which brings us to...
Tier 3: The Mother-Loving ChampElisa: 47 points
This was a beat-down like I have never seen in an Oscar pool. This thing was over before we even got to the top categories. 4/4 on the top 4 awards, 7/8 on the top 8 awards (throwing in the supporting acting categories and the two screenplay awards). Elisa, you truly are the Mistress of Media.
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Jim and I share some final thoughts on the ceremony, the winners, and the losers after the jump.
Jim's takeAlrighty, it's almost midnight, and I've lost yet another Oscar pool. I
couldn't even beat my girlfriend. [Elisa: "Of course you couldn't,
because I'm awesome. There was no way in hell you were going to beat
me."]
The most important thing: three and a half hours or so
for the ceremony.... could it have been shorter? Well, did we need the
Beyonce musical number? Why can't we start the Oscars at 6somethingish,
like the Super Bowl? That would give Mickey Rourke like an extra three
hours to get drunk after the ceremony.
Things I liked:
The
awards for actors and actresses, with past winners each giving a little
talk to each of the nominees. That was a nice innovation to the
ceremony. The only suggestion I have -- next year, make sure you do the
same for director (and include Marty Scorsese) and make sure you get
Jack Nicholson as well. Seriously, wouldn't Jack have been the perfect
person to talk to Mickey Rourke.... Ben Kingsley, really?
Hugh Jackman. Hey, he's not Billy Crystal, and his
little "I made this in my garage" opening bit was fun. I like the idea
of using song & dance thespians as hosts. Next year? Keep with the
Hugh, keep with the accent. Hugh Laurie.
The Slumdog Train. I got this email mid-awards from a Mr. Jesse Craft: "Okay,
so was Slumdog really this much better than every movie that came out
last year? This is just an absolute demolition." My answer was,
essentially, that it was better than any movie that wasn't titled "The
Wrestler" (more on that in the next section) But it won the awards
that it deserved to win. Yeah, it wasn't
my personal preference for Best Picture, but it wasn't "Crash" or "A
Beautiful Mind" or "Forrest Gump." The feel-good film is the best thing
that England has done for India since India Pale Ale and tea.
You know what, I take those former comparison back. You know what
"Slumdog Millionaire" wasn't? Let me tell you: "The English Patient."
Elaine Benice was right: The English Patient sucks. Slumdog does not.
Wonderful film, and it was nice to see Danny Boyle and its cast so
giddy throughout the ceremony.
Sean
Penn. Kudos for the shout-out to Mickey Rourke. Classy -- I've loved
him as an actor, but always thought he was probably an asshole of a
person. Glad he took time out to mention Mickey in his speech. (Notice,
he did not thank his wife, but he did thank Rourke)
Man on Wire guy giving a shout-out to Werner Herzog. In the words of Stan Lee, 'nuff said.
Dislikes
The
camera work during the In Memoriam montage. Note to the production
crew: Wide shot of QL singing, DISSOLVE TO the big screen of dead
people immediately, before Cyd Charisse. Keep that shot for the rest of
the montage. We want to see the clips of those who have passed, not
your fancy-schmancy camerawork.
The
Snubbing of The Wrestler. Remember those MTV music awards happened like
a few years ago and Justin Timberlake won for "Cry Me a River" over
Johnny Cash's "Hurt"? He went up on stage and started screaming. "This
is a travesty. I grew up listening to Johnny Cash, and the people
giving out these awards have insulted him" or something like that.
That's how I feel when the best film since I don't know what... let's
just say Pulp Fiction* for argument's sake, gets snubbed for
nominations and then leaves Mickey Rourke Oscarless. Thank goodness he
won at the Independent Spirit Awards.
Seriously, any time an actor talks about anal sex
with wrestling groupies at an awards show, he deserves a fucking Oscar.
Best
Picture Clips: What was up with showing Apocalypse Now footage during
the Frost/Nixon clip? And shouldn't they have showed that Gump clip
during the Buttontage? This was stupid -- just show clips from the
nominated films.
Didja Notice?
-
How peeved David Fincher looked? Like "I made Se7en and Zodiac and
Fight Club, and this is the movie I get nominated for? Why didn't
someone tell me that the screenplay was just a rehash of Gump?"
-
The general mood when the family of Poor Dead Heath Ledger was
accepting his award? How amazing would it have been if Downey Jr. had
won?
-
Speaking of which.. Cuba Gooding Jr. -- he must have been ecstatic when
he got that phone call, right? Seriously. Boat Trip. Snow Dogs. Chill
Factor (co-starring Skeet Ulrich) -- this is his post-Jerry Maguire
career. This was his biggest moment since he caught that touchdown on
Monday Night Football for the Arizona Cardinals.
- How tiny Joel Grey is? Two things I learned: He
is Jennifer Grey's father. He was on Buffy, season 5. [Trivia courtesy
of my smart girlfriend, and OC pool winner Elisa Keller]
* If you put a gun to my head, I'd say it tied with There Will Be Blood. TIED, damn you.
Jesse's take
You know what? I hated the thing they did for the actor and actress
awards. I hated it. Talk about a waste of time! It took a solid hour to
give out those four awards while I waited for the Academy to lovingly
stroke the balls, head, and shaft of each nominee. In other stroking
the nominee news: they re-organized the award order this year to be in
roughly the same order as the production of a movie - screenplay to
pre-production (art direction, costume design) to post-production (film
editing, visual effects). But all this was, of course, book-ended by
the actor awards. Because we all know that, really, no matter what the
Academy says about the importance of everyone on the movies, we must
all bow down to the mighty actor.
I agree with your assessment
of Hugh Jackman. Is there any chance we could convince Marvel to make
the next X-Men movie a musical?
I completely underestimated the
momentum of Slumdog this year (as reflected in my poor showing in the standings). I haven't checked, but I'm almost
positive that it won every award it was nominated for. And here is a
reason David Fincher might have been pissed: has any movie ever LOST
more awards it was nominated for than Button? It won two awards (visual
effects and makeup) which were basically the same award: the Brad Pitt
looks old award.
Conversely, I think we both underestimated the
degree to which the Academy did not like the Wrestler. Penelope Cruz in
Vicky Christina Barcelona? Really? She looks like a horse with large
breasts. I was not surprised by Sean Penn's win, however - as Sean Penn
so astutely noted, the Academy really is a bunch of commie, homo-loving
sons of bitches (I'm not on TV so I can complete his thought for him).
Heath
Ledger's family, particularly his dad, was pretty great. I thought he
was composed, understated, and just incredibly classy. Brought a
measure of dignity to what could have been a self-congratulatory
wank-fest.
And now, I'd like to end this e-mail with a completely unnecessary montage about e-mails!
Jim's responseYou hated it? Really? Even with your old-old girlfriend, Eve Marie
Saint, being one of the presenters? I'd rather have them spend an hour
on that that then spend 45 minutes on something banal and boring as
performance clips and tiny square boxes.
(I made the Wolverine: The Musical joke last night. I'm sure you
did too.) How come neither of us mentioned Ben Stiller's fake-beard? He
looked like a Hasidic meth lab worker, as Natalie Portman so astutely
pointed out. That got the biggest laugh of the evening from me, for
obvious reasons. (My happiest moment, however, was the Japanese dude
who said "Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto")
Button was nominated for what, 13? And it won 3? So 10 for 13....
didn't The Color Purple go 0 for 11? (Johnny Wikipedia has confirmed
those numbers, also according to Johnny W -- Slumdog lost out in one
category -- Best Sound Editing)
I know I've said this ad naseum, but time is going to prove the
Academy wrong on The Wrestler. Fast forward 30 years (or just look into
Nic Cage's magic Knowing time capsule) -- The Wrestler will be held in
the same regard that Raging "I Lost to Ordinary People" Bull is held
today. Mark me.
One last thing... Sam Bottoms, who passed away in December, was not
shown during the 'In Memoriam' section (or I missed him, but I was
paying pretty close attention) I know he's not as famous as his brother
Timothy, but he was in The Last Picture Show, Apocalypse Now, The
Outlaw Josey Wales, and Seabiscuit. Wonder why they left him out?
Oh, and for Adam -- they also omitted Estelle "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot!" Getty.....
