Before we begin, I need to set the record straight.  I have never, nor would I ever, talk smack about Jim's mom or her delicious cooking, despite what he might have you believe.  Here is what I actually said:

"[U]p until a few years ago, the undisputed champion of cooking in my life was Jim's mom.  Unfortunately, after the first Thanksgiving we spent in Florida, Jim's mom had to cede the title to Suzi's sister Sandra."

See? No smack talk.  But even so, I would like to amend this statement.  It was wrong of me to imply that there was a title or championship to be the best cook.  Do we argue over whether Thomas Jefferson or Abe Lincoln is the best president? No, we just put them both on Mount Rushmore and call it a day.  So I hereby declare that Jim's Mom and Sandra both go on the ObscureCraft Mount Rushmore of cooking, and hopefully we can put this ugly business behind us. 

If you are looking to get yourself onto the Mount Rushmore of cooking, here is the first requirement: no matter how many people show up in your house, and no matter what time of the day or night it is, you must always have delicious food ready for them to eat.  Such was the case with the very first pulled pork sandwiches.  A group of 9 people made a pit stop at Jim's parents house on the way from Albany, NY to Naples, Florida.  It was 11 o'clock at night, and out comes Jim's mom with a tray full of pulled pork wrapped up in flour tortillas.  Ladies and gentlemen, THAT is how you get it done.

 

Ingredients:

• PORK
• 1 onion
• 2 jalapeno peppers
• Light brown sugar
• Sweet Baby Ray's Honey Barbecue Sauce
• A slow cooker

This recipe is going to be a little light on the whole "amounts" section, because I just kind of wing it.  Make sure you have too much of everything and then use whatever is left over next time you make pulled pork.  Because you are going to want to make it again.

In the picture above we have 3 pounds of pork.  I think it is pork butt, but you can use whatever you want, just be advised that a boneless cut will make your life easier down the road.  Drop the pork right into the slow cooker.

If I may offer you some additional advice at this step: a rice cooker is not the same as a slow cooker.  Do not attempt to cook this meal in a rice cooker.  It will not work out well for you.  And yes they do look similar if you haven't used either one in awhile, okay? Get off my back about it!

Anyway: if you want, you can rub down the meat with the brown sugar, as well as a little pepper if that is your thing.  I don't think there is any point in actually rubbing it into the meat, since it is going to be soaking in a broth for the next 24 hours or so.  I pretty much just throw everything in.  I'm lazy that way.

Now to make it Texas style: since I've moved to Texas, I've noticed something about the food.  No matter what it is, you can get it with jalapenos.  Kolaches? Put some jalapenos in there!  Burger? Slap some jalapenos on that!  Pizza? Wouldn't that taste better with some jalapenos on it?!  Jalapenos!! 

You should wear latex gloves when cutting the jalapenos, and wash your hands and the knife after you are done.  Also, and I cannot stress this enough: do not touch your eyes or your genitals while you are handling jalapenos. 

The jalapenos, onion, and brown sugar all get tossed into the slow cooker with the pork.  Next, fill the slow cooker up with equal parts water and barbecue sauce until the meat is covered.

Nice, right? That's it, you are done for now.  Put the lid on the cooker, set it to low, and spend the next 24 hours or so enjoying the way your apartment fills with the scent of barbecue sauce and pork.  You know how good it feels on a hot day to walk into an air conditioned room? Imagine that, instead of a hot day, it is a day that does not smell like pork, and then you have the air conditioning/pork smell in your apartment.  Walking into your apartment from outside has that same wonderful feeling while this cooks.

Wait about 24 hours, and then take the pork out of the slow cooker with a pair of tongs.  Leave all the onion, jalapeno, and juices behind for your significant other to clean up.

Get a couple of forks and shred the pork.  Shred it good.  When Suzi left the house for work, she told me two things: enjoy your day off, and remember to shred the pork really good.  I've said it before, but I'll say it again: Suzi has no fucking patience for poorly shredded meat.

This is alot of pork, and I doubt you'll eat it in one setting.  That is fine.  I'm going to be eating this stuff all week, because it re-heats terrifically.  You can serve this however you want - the classic pulled pork sandwich is on a hard roll with some cole slaw - but in deference to the first time I was served it, I rolled the meat up into flour tortillas and baked them in the oven for 10 minutes at 350 degrees to warm them up.

Hooray! Delicious Texas-style pulled pork is yours.

This picture is missing one, because I ATE IT.  (Is this picture not in your face enough? Then click here. If you dare.)