Sometimes, because of familial, social, or professional obligations, you have to give gifts to people you hate.  True, you could fight against the unfairness of these societal constraints, but ultimately this leads to a life spent in isolation in a lonely house in the woods of northeastern Pennsylvania with no working car while the bears root through your garbage.  And nobody wants that.  Instead, we here at ObscureCraft suggest that you go the passive-aggressive route: give a gift to charity in that person's name. 

What are they gonna say? They have to say thank you, because giving to charity is The Right Thing To Do.  But in the end, they didn't get fuck-all from you.  Instead of being win-win, it is win-lose; but the win goes to you! So, here to help you help the world and stick it to that person on your Christmas list that you hate, are the ObscureCraft suggestions for passive-aggressive not-really-a-gift-at-all gifts to charity. Kevin suggests: Doctors Without Borders

When picking a charity, there's basically two things to consider: what area or focus you want to donate towards, and which of those charities to pick.  The first is up to you and your knowledge of the recipient, but the second I can help you with:  www.charitynavigator.org is the go-to place for checking the financial health, donor privacy policies, and percentage of money spent on services vs fundraising.  Always check a charity out there before donating. 

"MSF is an independent humanitarian medical aid agency committed to two objectives: providing medical aid wherever needed, regardless of race, religion, politics or sex and raising awareness of the plight of the people we help."

Right now they're directly involved in trying to contain the Cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe's capital, getting HIV/AIDS antivirals to Myanmar, providing medical support to people wounded in Nigerian riots, as well as raising awareness of prisoner mistreatment in Guinea and the deteriorating situation in Somalia.  Doctors are needed everywhere, and MSF volunteers go where they're needed despite the risks and dangers.

The Suze suggests: The American Leprosy Mission

I'm not sure why this category is included, since I don't think anyone one I know (who reads this blog) would actually gift a donation. Not to say that we're all assholes who would rather give or be given something tangible like DVDs, clothes and a Lexus (um...sure). Donations just seem like a personal matter. Also, there's the question of who gets to claim the tax write-off, the giver or the receiver of the "present?" But getting back on track, I'm recommending donating to the American Leprosy Mission because who knew that a disease referenced in the Old Testament was still around? Also, now that I am a transplanted Texan, it effects me directly:

"In South Louisiana and Texas, some armadillos carry [leprosy]. We do not know for certain if humans can get the bacteria from armadillos."

Jim suggests: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute

I would send a check in the amount of one cent to the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, in the name of Chris Richwine. Because, as we all know, an institution has to spend $40.00 to process a check. [ed. note: Jim is hereby found guilty of making an inside joke, and is sentenced to spend 2 weeks as my butler.]

Daytrader suggests: the Bum Fund

Well the obvious answer here is The Human Fund. Apparently someone has already taken advantage of that and created this <http://www.the-human-fund.org/>.  Now, while I'm not against supporting arts education programs for the under-served youth of Cleveland, Ohio,  I think that there are maybe other options to consider.

Since it's only going to be a small amount of money I don't think that me not donating to cancer will set them back years in research.  I've decided to take the idea of The Human Fund and apply it to one of Jesse's most recent blogs and an idea that began years ago in the minds of some people from college...the Bum Fund.

For those uneducated on this "fund", the idea is that every month you allocate $5 towards the Bum Fund.  Whenever a bum asks you to spare a dollar you do up to $5 (or 5 bums). If there is a sixth then you deny the money and don't feel bad about it.  I recommend giving that $20 towards the Bum Fund.  You can help support bums with alcohol for the next 4 months.

And if that doesn't fly with you...just donate to The Human Fund.

Jesse suggests: the World Land Trust

When I was in 2nd grade, my class raised money to buy 2 acres of rainforest.  I didn't really understand charity at the time.  I thought that we had bought it the same way that you buy clothes or a car, and that we could go visit it if we wanted to.  I had a vague idea that the rainforest was far away, so visiting it would be impractical, but since we bought it, unless we decided to cut it down, it would be there FOREVER.  So maybe I could visit it later, when I was older.

For $50 you can preserve a half-acre of rainforest.  This gift is best purchased in the name of someone who is from Brazil - use the opportunity of purchasing the gift to lecture them on the irresponsibility and complicity of their government in the destruction of one of the world's most fragile and important ecosystems.  Also tell them that you will never go to Brazil because of that one episode of the Simpsons that depicted the entire country as being overrun with vicious packs of monkeys.  That plus City of God.  Great movie, but Jesus Christ: you expect me to go there after watching that? How about next we watch Schindler's List before visiting Germany in 1942.