When the Giants lose their first playoff game a week from Sunday, you can look back and blame me for this column. I am about to jinx them by rating which AFC team represents the most interesting Super Bowl matchup, from 1 to 6. 

6.  Miami Dolphins

I'm not going to lie.  When I had the idea for this list, I thought this spot would go to New England or the Jets.  Can you imagine it? The Patriots: A rematch from last season, when the underdog Giants swooped in and ruined the Patriots perfect season.  The Patriots would be back for revenge, this time as the underdogs.  What a great matchup that would have been.

Or the Jets: New York vs. New York.  Brother against brother, father against son, obnoxious jerkoffs against loudmouth assholes.  The subway Super Bowl, even though you can't ride a subway to Giants Stadium or Tampa Bay, where the game would actually be played.

But instead, we get the Dophins.  The best I could come up with is that their coach is named Tony Sparano, which is pretty close to Tony Soprano, like in that show that took place in New Jersey, which is where the Giants play, even though they are actually called the New York Giants.  Damn it all. 

5. Baltimore Ravens

Rematch of Super Bowl XXXV, when the Ray Lewis-led Baltimore Ravens defense held the Giants to one special teams touchdown in a 34-7 pasting.  This matchup might be more intriguing if there was more than a single Giants starter left from that Super Bowl run. 

4. Pittsburgh Steelers

Two stud quarterbacks from the draft class of 2004, Eli Manning and Ben Roethlisberger, each go for their second Super Bowl ring.  As an added bonus, my employer is a Steelers fan, so excessive gloating on the day after the Super Bowl could have severe career ramifications. 

Did you know that there is a burger joint in Pittsburgh that has an item on the menu called a Rothelis-burger, which is made with a 7-pound beef patty in honor of the number worn by the QB? I think 7 might also be a reference to the number of people in Pittsburgh who still have jobs today.

3.  Tennessee Titans

You probably think that this game is interesting because it would represent a matchup between the two top-seeded teams in the playoffs, or the two teams who were at the top of the standings all year, or because it matches the Giants against Kerry Collins, the quarterback who took them to Super Bowl XXV. You would be wrong.

No, this game is interesting because it matches two teams whose names mean the same thing.  Giants! Titans! This game is going to be huge!! Get it?!?!?  Most exciting Super Bowl matchup for me since the Buccaneers played the Raiders.

2. San Diego Chargers

In 2004, the Chargers drafted Eli Manning number one overall.  He refused to sign with them, forcing a trade to the Giants.  Who did the Giants send back? Philip Rivers, the number 3 overall pick and current QB for San Diego.  Rumor has it that Chargers fans are still not incredibly pleased with Eli.  This could be the biggest potential storyline in the playoffs, if not for... 

1.  Indianapolis Colts

Manning vs. Manning.  Eli and Peyton, fighting it out for their mother's love in the biggest game of the year.  NBC, the network that airs the Super Bowl this year, will have a collective boner for 2 weeks.  Advertisers will be falling over themselves to throw money at them.  It will be the most watched Super Bowl in history.  Oops, they got a semi right now just thinking about it. 

It will be the most over-hyped storyline since Jerome Bettis going home to Detroit to win a Super Bowl in his final game.  In fact, I'm already sick of it.  Every advertisement in the month of February will have either Eli, Peyton, or Archie, who will probably send a sample of his sperm to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton after the game. 

That is, unless the Giants lose to the Eagles in round 2.  Dammit all.