In this morning's column, Bill Simmons (actually, one of his readers) brings up a recent episode of the Price Is Right that I hadn't heard about yet:
"This is the new high point of announcing low points. As anyone who has
watched this show knows, you rarely see anyone sniff $500, let alone
$100 of their showcase showdown total. So what do you have here? The
first contestant comes within $500 of the Showcase Showdown, then her
opponent beats her by hitting the number right on the head!!!! He got
it exactly!!!! This could have been -- in the arms of a decent
game-show host -- the greatest game show moment of all-time."
In case you haven't seen it yet, I need you to watch this.
During the summers and days I stayed home from school sick during my youth, I would always watch the Price Is Right. I loved it. I've been told that, when I was a baby, one of the first things I learned how to say is, "A NEW CAR!" and that it was my answer to anything. "Jesse, do you want something to eat?" "A NEW CAR!" "Jesse, have you seen your sister anywhere? She's been missing for hours and we can't find her." "A NEW CAR!"
And, as we all know, once we get to the showcase showdown, anyone who bids within $100 of the actual retail price of their showcase wins both showcases. In all the hours I spent watching Bob Barker and the Price Is Right, I never saw anybody win both showcases (I think it actually might be $250 or $500 now, but whatever).
Now the first person is within $500. I might not have ever seen that. $500! On a $31,000 showcase! That is amazing, but reasonable: she's within 2%. But the second guy got it EXACTLY. RIGHT. HE. GUESSED. IT. EXACTLY. RIGHT. THAT. IS. AMAZING.
That is not just a perfect game. That's a perfect game with 20 strikeouts. That's scoring 100 points in basketball. That's a 3 minute mile. And Drew Carey didn't just botch the moment, he completely RUINS THE MOMENT. It couldn't have been worse if Carey pulled out a gun and just shot him in the face. This guy bid $23,743 and got it exactly right. Who bids a number like that? What if he bid $23,744 and was over by $1? Would he have gone home and hung himself? He would have at least spent the rest of his life thinking about it, right? Drew Carey, act like what you just saw was amazing!
Instead, Drew Carey pulls down his pants, squats, and pinches out an enormous turd on the moment. He might as well have wiped his ass with the Mona Lisa afterwards.
He is scum. He is dead to me. I am not watching the Price Is Right until Drew Carey is fired. No more new cars.