I think my parents might be turning into hoarders.  You know those people that never throw anything away? They haven't gone so far as to look through other people's garbage for things to bring back home, but I also wonder if this is only because there is nobody else's garbage around to go through. 

Going through the cupboards to identify which items they needed to make pork chops (watch this space for the recipe!), Daytrader found this:

This is not a can of clam chowder, which was my first thought.  This is a can of clams. Just clams.

Ocean clams and ocean clam juice, salt, sodium tripolyphosphate (to retain natural juices), sodium erythorbate (to protect flavor), and calcium disodium edta (to protect color).

There is no date or marking to indicate when this item was manufactured.  This product has apparently been discontinued; it is not included on their website. I wonder if I could find a market on eBay?  All indications are that these clams have been in the house for a decade or more.  CLAMS.

Obviously you've read The Road by now, since I recommended it months ago.  In the post-apocolyptic future it foretells, the remaining humans live by scavenging for canned goods left behind,  the remnants of humanity nourished by the remnants of industrialized society.  But if the man and his son found this can of clams, I do not think they would eat them.  I think they would take it, and the man would express excitement to his son at the prospect of having some real clam chowder.  Then they would open the can, and the realization would hit: this was not a can of clam chowder.  It was a can of clams.  That is when they would kill themselves.