[Back by popular demand! Ask GirlShrink is published on perhaps the ugliest website I have ever seen. And can you believe they charge for personal advice? Their advice is terrible!! For the original column, click here.]Dear GirlShrink OC,
I have been in this "sort of" relationship for about 18 months with a man I adore. While not a perfect man, he is perfect for me. He still says he wants to keep things "without a title" because he doesn't want to hurt or disappoint me. He says that he is only seeing and sleeping with me. What else do I need to do? Why won't this man love me? Why doesn't he want me?
-R.T.First of all: Girlshrink answers too many fucking letters in a single column. I don't have all goddamn day, so: everyone gets three sentences.
Your boyfriend is a cliche, but at least he is open and honest about it. Without more details about you I cannot evaluate why he doesn't love you, although the mind swims at all the possibilities. If you require commitment, then dump him.
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Dear GirlShrink OC,
My boyfriend told me around last year summertime that I needed to lose
weight if I wanted to wear my favorite bikini. Now I don't even want to
undress in front of him. I feel judged and rejected. What should I do?
-Bikini Girl
Your feelings of judgment and rejection reveal that you are able to
accurately respond to external stimuli based on your boyfriend's
judgment and rejection of you. He is either attempting to start a
conversation about your weight, or he is a controlling asshole. Please
send a picture of yourself in the bikini so that I can properly
evaluate the situation.
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Dear GirlShrink OC,
I want a mate who is taller than me, makes more money than me, no kids,
but wants them. Are those unrealistic goals for a possible match? And
if so -- what can I do about it? I want to get married.
-Miss Perfection
It is not unrealistic so long as you are an attractive woman who is fun
to be around. However, based on your letter, my gut is telling me you
are an intolerable bitch. Learn to compromise.
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Dear GirlShrink OC,
My last relationship was a disaster because the man I was with was
completely wrong for me in every way. I'm 31 years old. When am I going
to start picking men that are good for me or at least compatible?
-Needing Help
How the fuck should I know? This is a retarded question. You are retarded, and so is GirlShrink for answering it.
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Dear GirlShrink OC,
My boyfriend and I have lived together for about 5 years. We have 2
children and we both work full-time. I am a good girlfriend, a good
mother, and I love him - but he acts like I'm forcing him to be
together! How should I deal with him? What should I say?
-Miserable
Either the children were unplanned, or you are the type of person who
tries to put on underpants after the jeans are already on. He feels
trapped in this relationship by them. Seek therapy.
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Dear GirlShrink OC,
I got myself involved in a relationship that I knew was wrong for me.
Now I really want the guy when he made it clear that he wasn't looking
for anything serious. I don't know what to do at this point.
Break up with him. This question is boring. If you are as boring as
your questions then it is no wonder he doesn't want anything serious.
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Dear GirlShrink OC,
I'm in I guess an emotionally abusive relationship. He isn't my
boyfriend, but we have sex. Its gotten to the point that he has told me
that I am no good in bed and that in fact I should pay him for sex. One
time he made me give him $20! And I did it. How can I get out of what I
know is a bad relationship for me? I mean I think I love him.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA.
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Dear GirlShrink OC,
I am 19 years old and I realize I'm still young but ever since I was
like 15 years old all my friends have been getting into all these
serious relationships, whereas I'm getting into these flings that last
10 days. I don't think I'm ugly or fat yet I'm not the prettiest girl
in the world nor am I the skinniest. I just wonder if I'm doing
something wrong or do I just need to sit and wait for mr right. I can't
help but think no guy will ever want me.
Your friends watch too much of The Hills. You are doing it exactly right. Chill the fuck out.
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Dear GirlShrink OC,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and a
half, and have lived together since July. He just recently decided to
go away for the weekend and basically told me he was sick of me and
this town. He said it is just a weekend he needs to get away. He says
he still loves me and isn't thinking about breaking up with me, he just
wants to go away for the weekend. In may he is moving to a different
town about 4 hours away. I am scared we may end up broken up he claims
we won't but he is a guy, and he has been talking about a promise ring,
but I am still scared. Is there anything reassuring you can tell me?
Your boyfriend wants to break up with you and may already be cheating
on you. People don't 'basically' say "I am sick of you", move four
hours away, and then maintain a long distance relationship. So, to
answer your question, no, I cannot tell you anything reassuring.
