Take it from me: Judy is a man who knows his pie.
Here is how Judy makes his apple pie.
Ingredients:
5 pie apples. Judy recommends Empire
Apples, but not everybody lives in New York, Judy. I forget what kind
of apples I used, but they said they were good for baking. Don't use
Granny Smith or Red Delicious.
Lots of sugar, at least one cup
Some cinnamon
1 cup of flour
1 stick of unsalted butter
1 egg
Peel and coarsely chop your Judy-approved apples. Arrange them in a
pie pan. Did I mention you need a pie pan? Go back to the store and
get a pie pan. I'll wait.
Okay, now put all those apple pieces in the pie pan you just
bought. Sprinkle some sugar and cinnamon on the apples. How much? I
don't know, you are a grownup. Add however much you want.
Time
to make the crust. Take your stick of butter and one cup of sugar, and
mix them in a bowl. Mix 'em up good. Once the butter and sugar is
combined, add the egg. Mix all that up. Getting hungry yet?
Now
add the flour. No, don't do it all at once! Asshole. Now you have to
start again. Here's another look at the finished product to keep you
motivated. Also, pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees while you are at it.
Now, add the flour A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME to the egg, butter, and
sugar mixture. When that is all mixed up good, spread it on top of the
apples. Use your hands, its easier that way. You might want to put
some flour on your fingers. Unless you like having sticky hands.
Pervert.
Now pop that sucker in the oven for about 40 minutes, or
until the crust is nice and crusty. All done? Congratulations, you've
got Judy pie! It's delicious. And no wonder - you just put over a cup
of sugar into a pie. Maybe I should rename this recipe Diabetes Pie.
Enjoy!
