@ November 17, 2008

Take it from me: Judy is a man who knows his pie.

Judy looks like a high roller, originally uploaded by craftj2.

Here is how Judy makes his apple pie.


5 pie apples.  Judy recommends Empire Apples, but not everybody lives in New York, Judy. I forget what kind of apples I used, but they said they were good for baking.  Don't use Granny Smith or Red Delicious.

Lots of sugar, at least one cup
Some cinnamon
1 cup of flour
1 stick of unsalted butter
1 egg

judy pie closeup 2, originally uploaded by craftj2.

Peel and coarsely chop your Judy-approved apples.  Arrange them in a pie pan.  Did I mention you need a pie pan? Go back to the store and get a pie pan.   I'll wait.

jesse stalking judy pie, originally uploaded by craftj2.

Okay, now put all those apple pieces in the pie pan you just bought.  Sprinkle some sugar and cinnamon on the apples.  How much? I don't know, you are a grownup.  Add however much you want.

Time to make the crust.  Take your stick of butter and one cup of sugar, and mix them in a bowl.  Mix 'em up good.  Once the butter and sugar is combined, add the egg.  Mix all that up.  Getting hungry yet?

Now add the flour.  No, don't do it all at once! Asshole. Now you have to start again. Here's another look at the finished product to keep you motivated.  Also, pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees while you are at it.

judy pie, originally uploaded by craftj2.

Now, add the flour A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME to the egg, butter, and sugar mixture.  When that is all mixed up good, spread it on top of the apples.  Use your hands, its easier that way.  You might want to put some flour on your fingers.  Unless you like having sticky hands.  Pervert.

Now pop that sucker in the oven for about 40 minutes, or until the crust is nice and crusty.  All done? Congratulations, you've got Judy pie! It's delicious.  And no wonder - you just put over a cup of sugar into a pie.  Maybe I should rename this recipe Diabetes Pie.


jesse + judy pie, originally uploaded by craftj2.


That pie crust looks like congealed fat. Here in the real America we know that apple pies have two crusts of rolled pastry.

It's bad enough that you have my glasses. Now you have to look all crazy with them on and pie.

That pie crust looks magnificent, although I don't know if I can ever forgive not getting any :(

Also if the Texas Gulf Coast isn't Real America, I don't know what is!

Jesse, it looks totally wrong. What did you do?

There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also.

Interesting stuff!

Do: Judy Pie! - ObscureBlog great ideas for this world!

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