This has been a long time coming, Wired.  You can't say that you didn't ask for it.  First, you wrote one of the most ignorant, arbitrarily contrarian articles I have ever seen, where you state that the way to fight global warming was to drive SUVs and kill owls.  Hey, Wired? I got another way to fight global warming: stop blowing all that smoke out of your ass.

But if I was going to make everyone who said something stupid my enemy, I'd be sitting alone in my cabin in the woods clinging to my guns and religion and antipathy to people who aren't like me.  So I gave Wired a pass.  But now they have gone too far.  They've made it personal.

This morning, Kevin sends me a link to a review of an electric bicycle: "Is this the one you bought?"

No, Kevin, it isn't.  Are you judging me now, too? Because Wired sure is.  No, the bike I purchased is the Europa by Ultra Motor, pictured here.   After my first 400 miles on the bike, I can tell you that:

Not by any stretch of the imagination should you expect to get 20 miles to a charge.  15 miles, tops.

It goes 20 miles an hour, unless there is a stiff breeze.  That can take you down to 16-17.

But I still love it.  It gets me to and from work while only taking 15 minutes longer than if I was taking the car.  I can now go 2 weeks or more between trips to the gas station.  Girls smile at me, and not just because my helmet makes me look "special".  And its good for the environment.

Apparently, I shouldn't be happy.  I should be ashamed of myself.  From Wired's review for the Giant Twist Freedom DX:

"A true hybrid, the Twist has no throttle. It relies on both pedal power and an unobtrusive, yet sturdy 300-watt motor to set you on your way. If you don't pedal, there's no power and that's just the way Giant [...] thinks it ought to be."

Oh, really? That's how it OUGHT to be?  Well, here's how I think it ought to be, Wired: I think that if I'm spending $2000 on a bike, the goddamn thing better pedal for me, steer for me, and fix me a sandwich.  I think that it should keep its batteries somewhere other than my saddlebags, because I'm already using those.   And it should look like it comes from the not-to-distant future.  What's the point of having an electric bike if nobody can tell? How will Mexicans riding in the backs of pickup trucks know to give you thumbs up?

If electric bikes are going to catch on, people are going to buy the one that is easier to use.  Period.  That is the whole point behind putting a motor on it in the first place.  But, hey, if people actually started riding electric bikes, then they wouldn't drive their SUVs anymore, and we have to drive SUVs to fix global warming, right?