The spot: Priceline spokesman William Shatner answers a blue phone out of a box held by a man in a lab coat. He is strapped to a jetpack. "Some ladies need a weekend getaway? I'm on it." He is introduced, via snappy jingle, as the Priceline Negotiator as he jetpacks away. Jetpack.
Cut to three women outside at some sort of cafe, huddled around a laptop. They are well dressed, wearing pearls, and daintily enjoying their... let's call it brunch.
William Shatner wheels around the corner pushing a very large bassinet. The ladies (they are repeatedly referred to as ladies) immediately begin oohing and aahing at the triplets: Robbie, Robbie, and Little Billy. While they are distracted, William Shatner releases a highly-trained mongoose, who skillfully calls up Priceline.com and finds the best price on the airfare the ladies were after.
Their mission accomplished, William Shatner tells the ladies to "enjoy your trip, ladies." While the ladies are astonished at how cheap the airfare is on Priceline, but are indifferent to the fact that somebody was using their computer while they were not looking, William Shatner and his highly-trained mongoose congratulate each other on a job well done.
So, to recap:
- Women are to be referred to as "ladies" at all times, so long as they are wearing blouses and pearls. - Babies cause women to immediately drop what they are doing and ooh and aah over them, until the babies are forcibly removed from their presence. - Women are less skilled at navigating through the series of tubes that compose the internet than an (albeit highly-trained) mongoose. - Women think that somebody using their laptop while they were not looking, and therefore having access some of their personal information, is not cause for alarm.
The radio version of this ad goes something like this:
"Hey, ladies! Once your husband finishes driving you around since you do not have the skills necessary to operate an automobile, ask him to show you Priceline.com, where you can find the best deals on travel. You ladies like travel, don't you?"
Here are some other versions of this ad that were rejected for being just slightly too offensive:
- A group of three nebbishy, Woody Allen-looking Jews sit around a laptop, complaining about the cost of airfare and the humidity. William Shatner shows up and scatters some loose change onto the ground. While the Jews hurriedly collect each precious cent, his trained mongoose navigates their computer to Priceline.com for great airfare back to Israel.
- A group of five black men, one of them holding a basketball, huddle around a laptop looking for flights to the Million Man March. William Shatner shows up with a bucket of fried chicken.
- 3 Mexican day laborers are looking for flights to visit their families. William Shatner arrives in a pickup truck and brings them back to his house to do yardwork. He does not assist them in finding cheap airfare.
