Rowing is not a sport. Neither, for that matter, is weightlifting. They are exercises. If rowing and weightlifting are sports, then running on a treadmill, using a stress ball, and Dance Dance Revolution are also sports. At least in weightlifting, though, there is the chance of doing horrible, horrible
things to your arm.
In teams of two, rowing does at least acquire a modicum of sport-ness. In addition to repeating the mechanical motion of rowing that can be perfected on a rowing machine in the gym downstairs in my apartment complex/Olympic training facility, you must also work as a team to make sure that your rowing motion is synchronized.
However, this goes entirely out the window when the two rowers are twins. Why, you ask? Because of the scientifically documented fact that identical twins have a psychic link with each other. Look at this picture! It is terrifying. There are two of them, and they can read each others minds.
(I swear I didn't doctor the picture
this time.)
If there were triplets, would all three of them be allowed in the boat? Or would they be allowed to rotate a fresh rowing triplet in each time? How would you even know? Maybe... they are doing it right now...
"The identical twins, best known in the tech world for being two-thirds of the Harvard-founded startup that foisted an intellectual property lawsuit upon Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg..."
Two-thirds? TWO-THIRDS? I know what's going on here. Identical twins always like to use the fact that they are identical to switch places in class, have sexual intercourse with each others girlfriends, and then they can both deny paternity in court when she has a baby (I saw it on Law and Order). You cannot trust identical twins. You cannot even trust that there are only two of them.
Sure, I could, with a very little amount of research, determine that the third party to the lawsuit, along with the Winklevoss twins, was actually Divya Narendra, and the three all claim that they were Harvard students with Zuckerberg when he stole their code and business plan for a social networking website. Maybe that would be more reasonable than assuming that the unnamed individual was a mysterious third triplet that they trade off with during rowing meets.
This isn't about being reasonable, though. It's about teaching a lesson: you can never trust identical twins. Just as Mark Zuckerberg.
[thanks to Obscureblog tipper/only reader Jim]
