There are a number of big, important topics that I was thinking of writing about today. 

The New Yorker has taken to making anti-Obama propaganda and calling it satire.
The mortgage crisis continues to spiral out of control, dragging down the rest of the economy with it.
This guy blended an iPhone.

Well, fuck all that shit, cause Comfort is back!

Jessica King, the dancer who beat Comfort out for a spot in the top 10, has been felled by an injury, making room for Comfort in the top 10.  Not only that, but Comfort will replace Jessica on the 50 city tour later this year.

What the hell happened? Did she get hit by a bus or something?

(Tee-hee-hee!)

The show's producer, big-toothed Brit Nigel Lythgoe, won't get specific about the injury that occurred, so allow me to engage in some wild speculation.

Jessica was inadvertently impregnated during last week's "Adam and Eve" routine with Will.


Debbie Allen knee-capped her for dragging her protege into the bottom 3.

My threatening e-mails finally got through their spam filter.

Whatever the reason, there is a more pressing question: does this mean I'm not bad luck anymore? Is the curse broken? There is only one way to find out: to the casinos!

(Oh, and PS: If you actually do care about important things going on in the world, read this post on the mortgage crisis by Jonathan Golob of The Stranger, aka Dear Science.  Could not have said it better myself.