Texas, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean the things I said about you the other night.  It's just that I was alone in my hotel room, and the TV was really blurry, and there wasn't any regular Law and Order on, only that crappy SVU version (I expect this kind of crap from you, Ice-T, but Richard Belzer? Where are your standards, sir.)

So, I'm here to apologize in the only way I know how: with a t-shirt. Friends?

I needed to get that off my chest, Texas, because there is something much more important to talk about.  See, I learned something in the last couple of days.  When you have a disagreement with someone, you shouldn't hurt them with your words.  Take, for example, Cody Martin and Matt Hill, two Georgia high school baseball players.  They understand that the only way to make someone understand your side of a disagreement is to hit them in the face with a baseball.


Baseball has the power to teach us many lessons.  For example, when you hit someone in the face with a baseball on the street, it is assault.  But between those two magical white lines, its just another way of getting your point across.  In this case, the point was "I'm an entitled high school athlete having a hissy fit because of your choice of strike zone."

And sure, the catcher would protest after the game that it was a cross-up; in baseball terms, that mean you expected the pitcher to throw one pitch, and he threw another, rendering him unable to catch it.  In fact, he was so surprised that he just dropped to his knees in shock while the ball sailed past him.  Cross-ups, of course, do happen.  For example, you put down one index finger, which is the sign for a fastball, but the pitcher saw one middle finger, which is the sign to hit the umpire in the face. 

The pitcher obviously had a point, though.  How could the umpire call that last pitch a ball? He clearly has pinpoint control.  Here, let him show you with a baseball in your face.