This is a joke, right?  This looks like a Saturday Night Live skit making fun of an M. Night Shyamalan movie.



This is actual dialogue from the TV spot they've been playing during the NBA playoffs:

News anchor: "There appears to be an event happening."
Woman on bench: "Did you hear that?"
Mark Wahlberg in voice-over: "What's going on?"

There appears to be an event happening? Aren't you supposed to tell me what your movie is about?

"So, what do you want to do tonight?"
"Oh, how about that new Shyamalan movie? An event happens."
"An event? Like what? Aliens attack? War breaks out? Creatures from another dimension?"
"Uh... Mark Wahlberg is in it!"

Well, if you won't tell me what your movie is about, I'll just make up my own movie.  Here are some possible plot synopses:

Mark Wahlberg is a dead superhero alien who lives in the forest for some reason.

There appears that something is happening, but, in a dramatic twist, nothing happens.

Instead of going to see the new M. Night Shyamalan movie, everyone stays home and watches classic Twilight Zone episodes.

People start jumping off of buildings rather than be forced to watch Lady in the Water.

New York is attacked by the furious re-animated corpse of Alfred Hitchcock.