There are some that say I'm too quick to make enemies.  "Oh Jesse," they say, "so what if your food got here 30 minutes later than everyone else? Does that really mean that you have to never go to Bombers again?" Yes it does motherfuckers! I want my nachos!

But this isn't about nachos.  Oh, if only it was about nachos.  Nobody is going to call me out for overreacting on this one.

Saturday, 4 am: Wake up to return my rental car and check in at the airport in Houston for my flight home via Charlotte.

8 am: Arrive in Charlotte.  Flight scheduled to depart at 1:15pm, so it's already going to be a long day.

1 pm: "Due to delays in Newark, we will be pushing the departure time back until 2."

2 pm: Been on the plane for 30 minutes.  We are parked on the tarmac with the engines off, meaning the air condition is off.  We are now notified that departure has been pushed back until 3:30, so we will be pulling into a gate so that passengers can deplane until we are ready to depart.

3 pm: We pulled into a gate, alright, but it's in the international concourse, so customs won't let anyone off the plane.  The flight attendants hand out cups of water.  Hooray, my problems are solved.  I lean over to Suzi and tell her: We are not leaving Charlotte tonight.

5 pm: After three and a half hours of sitting on a cramped airplane with no air conditioning, we are told the flight has been canceled by Newark air traffic control.  Oh, and by the way, since the airline is "not responsible" (whatever the fuck that means), we will not be compensated for any hotel or food expenses.  Have a nice evening.  I am not told to go fuck myself; they probably don't care either way.

6 pm: The bags have all been off-loaded from the plane.  The bag with my suit has arrived, but the luggage with the rest of my and Suzi's clothes has not.  I am told that they don't know where the bag is, because this is the connecting flight.  Did it get on the plane at Houston? They don't know.  Will it be arriving tonight? They don't know.  Can I file a lost baggage claim here? No, you have to file that at your final destination.  Suzi becomes visibly upset, and needs to be soothed with chocolate.  After 12 hours in airports, sweaty and disgusting, we will not have a change of clothes.

So here I sit, in an Econolodge in Charlotte, North Carolina.  Chinese food is on the way, and Law and Order is on.  I'll be on the 11 am US Airways flight back to Newark, and then I'll never be on a US Airways flight again.