Three things I loved from the Olympic men's trap shooting final yesterday (other than the fact that I was actually watching Olympic trap shooting):
1. The incredibly satisfying cloud of pink dust that explodes whenever a target is hit. It's reminiscent of, but not exactly like, the cloud of blood I imagine explodes from a duck when shot in a similar fashion.
2. When a shooter breaks open his shotgun after each shot, the empty shell launches itself out of the barrel. So often has the shooter performed this motion that he nonchalantly swats the shell out of midair directly into a disposal bucket next to him without a second glance.
3. Michael Diamond.
His introduction to my consciousness could not have been more jarring. As I idly chatted with the Suze, ignoring the (until now) droning commentary of the announcing team, some part of my brain was thankfully still listening, and caught this nugget."...punched her and pulled her hair..."
Wait, wha? Who did who to what in the what now? Thank Jebus for the rewind button.
Prior to the 2004 Olympics in Athens, Australian shooting champion Diamond was accused of assault
by his then-girlfriend and, tragically, lost his gun license for six months. The charges were eventually thrown out due to lack of evidence
There is no worse fate for an Olympic-caliber shooter than to lose is gun license.
I imagine poor Michael Diamond sitting in his Australian home, going out to the trap shooting range he set up in back of his house. He pulls, the trap goes flying, and he pretends to shoot at it with the rifle he no longer has. Koalas and kangaroos, meanwhile, roam free over his property, mocking him in his unarmed state. He goes back into his house and watches the Die Hard trilogy, sobbing softly at all the sweet, beautiful gunplay.
A shooter without his gun... oh, so many penis metaphors to choose from! I am crippled with indecision. Luckily, the female half of the broadcasting team was there to put it all into perspective for us:
"I know Michael Diamond, and I was not surprise when these charges were dropped. But those six months of lost training without his gun license really hurt his ability to perform on the field."