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Results filed under: “house”
[Jim and I continue our discussion of the fall TV season. This is part three. Its the last one, I promise. Here's part two. Here's part one.]From: Jesse To: Jim: Subject: In Memoriam Jim, I'm frankly surprised at your positive response to the season
premiere of House this year. "Reminiscent of Nicholson's turn as RP
McMurphy?" Reminiscent? The phrase you
are looking for is "embarrassingly derivative," or perhaps
"face-slappingly obvious ripoff." I'm surprised the episode didn't end with Roman Polanski raping a 13-year-old girl in Hugh Laurie's living room. Was there anything at all surprising,
or innovative about this episode? When House got up on stage and
started rapping with his roommate, I mentally registered the first
moment at which even the great Hugh Laurie, whose performance as House was always the main reason for watching the show to begin with, was unable to rescue the
material given to him. Much like the Oscars, I think we should
have an "In Memoriam" section every year where we talk about those
shows that died to young. Except unlike the Oscars, we'll memorialize
those shows that are gone, and also those shows that are still on the
air, but have gone from our hearts because they got into a car accident
and are now retarded. So, please join me in pouring a forty out in the
street for the following shows that are gone, and will be missed. Or
won't be missed, because they are now retarded. We talked about
how terrible Heroes, now in its fourth year, had gotten last season,
but this is officially the first year where I won't watch a single
episode. Parks and Recreation got a tryout from me last year.
Sometimes it feels like an alternative universe version of The Office.
A universe that hates laughter. In what can only be described as
an early birthday present from Jesus himself, the Suze has abandoned
both Project Runway AND America's Next Top Model. Runway got the
fur-lined suede boot from Suzi's schedule for the unforgivable sin of moving to Lifetime, a network which Suzi would
not watch under any circumstances. She could be trying to diffuse a
bomb, and if Lifetime was airing an instructional video,
and Suzi still wouldn't watch. And America's Next Top Model is airing
an all short models edition where every contestant is under 5' 7",
which destroyed any pretense that the show had left of finding a girl
who could have a viable modeling career. In the cancellation
department, we say goodbye to "Terminator: The Sarah Connor
Chronicles", which was barely on long enough for me to type out its
name; "Reaper", which squandered more potential than any pilot I've
ever seen; and "Battlestar Galactica", which ended with a finale that
was like an old man suffering from Alzheimers. It obviously didn't know
where it was going when it left the house and was now wandering
aimlessly, was awkward and embarrassing to watch, and by the end had
pooped all over itself.  Since I've spent this whole chat being
such a Debbie Downer, let me close out with a rave: Curb Your
Enthusiasm is back, and it is pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty
good. So far we've had two episodes, and we've had two classics.
Because we're running long (as usual), I only have three things to say: 1. Just because you have cancer doesn't mean you can't find the E! Channel for yourself. 2. Never make an empty gesture to a Funkhauser. 3. Don't condescend to me with your tiny pear! Hope you don't have any trouble getting this email out of the packaging!
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[Jim and I continue our discussion of the fall TV season. This is part two. Here's part one.]From: Jesse To: Jim Subject: I'm taking this email chain and I'M PUTTING IT IN A MUSEUM FOR CRAZY PEOPLE Jim, I'm telling you: if you had ever been forced to watch Nip/Tuck,
you would not be watching Glee. I don't care if you say its good. I
don't care if a dozen naked women spell out "Glee is an entertaining
show" on their boobs and bounce up and down while I read it. I. Don't.
Care. Since we as a culture have decided that Godwin's Law is null and
void, I feel fully justified in saying the following: hearing that Ryan
Murphy is making another show is like hearing Hitler is working on a
follow up project to the Holocaust. Not. Interested.  As for new
shows this season, its only Community for me. I understand your
hesitation: the show is walking a fine line between absurd humor and
saccharine sweetness, and there have been some unsteady moments on that
tightrope in the first couple of episodes. But between my love of Joel
McHale (sometimes when I'm watching The Soup I feel like someone has
stuck a hypodermic into the joke center of my brain, extracted out the
juices, and distilled them into a TV show made entirely for me) and the
lack of new show options, I'm in it to win it. It's already given me a
new catch phrase: "I'm taking this, and I'm PUTTING IT IN A MUSEUM FOR
CRAZY PEOPLE." That makes the Suze laugh every time. The only
other new pickle on my plate, so to speak, is Mad Men. Not a new show,
so I'm playing catchup. I'm watching Season Three as it airs and
simultaneously watching Season One on DVD (okay, its actually on
Blu-Ray, but I feel like a douche saying I'm watching something on
Blu-Ray. What a fucking horrible product name.)  Mad Men is wonderful,
but you probably can't guess what my favorite part is. Given up? Okay,
I'll tell you. Listen: everybody talks about John Hamm's performance as
Donald Draper. Everybody talks about Christina Hendricks as the
impossible curvy Joan Holloway. Everybody talks about the fastidious
details of the clothing, the technology, and the casual sexism. But why
doesn't everybody talk about the show's most inspired creation? Roger
Sterling is a singular creation in the history of mankind. He is the
world's most perfectly constructed one-liner delivery mechanism. He is
brilliant. Tell me you love Roger Sterling as much as I love him. With
the dearth of inspiring new content for my DVR this season, the result
is a much lower bar to clear to stay in the rotation. That's why, in
addition to indispensables like The Office, 30 Rock, Dexter, and Family
Guy, I'll be keeping my eye on some more questionable content, like a
Gil Grissom-less season of CSI, and... Dollhouse. Dollhouse. Oh,
Dollhouse. Jim, you did see what Dollhouse is doing this season, right?
Joss Whedon got on the phone with his casting director, and told him,
"Bring me an actor from every show nerds have ever cared about! I want
those nerds frothing at the mouth!" Already announced as joining the
cast for either a guest spot or a recurring role this season: Jamie
Bamber (Captain Apollo from Battlestar Galactica), Alexis Denisof
(Wesley Wyndham-Price from Buffy and Angel), Summer Glau (River from
Firefly and John Connor's pet terminator from The Sarah Connor
Chronicles), and... AND... Ray Motherfucking Wise, aka Leland Palmer.
Ray Wise! I would watch Ray Wise eat a turkey sandwich for 30 minutes a
week. Don't believe me? I basically have: I sat through a whole half
season of the insufferable "Reaper" because just when I was about to
change the channel/pass out from boredom, Ray Wise would show up and be
awesome for 10 minutes. Does any of this get you excited about (the
incredibly improbable) season two of Dollhouse? Or have you already
checked out?
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The only list Olivia Wilde should be at the top of is "What was the worst thing about House for the last 2 seasons?" But according to the First Lady of OC, the Suze, she's at the top of another list: [Maxim Magazine] named 13 from House as the hottest person of the year with, GET THIS, Megan Fox as number 2. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
What the fuck indeed. Here is how hot Megan Fox is. I would cheat on my wife with Megan Fox, then I would tell my wife about it, and then she would say, "Holy shit, you nailed Megan Fox! WAY TO GO!!" and then she'd give me a high five. Olivia Wilde? Here are the cast members of House I'd rather have sex with than Olivia Wilde: Hugh Laurie Jennifer Morrison Lisa Edelstein Hugh Laurie again Toss up between Olivia Wilde and Kal Penn's corpse  I stare into those dead eyes and all I can see is a mediocre season of House where I was supposed to care about her dying from a genetic disease and all I could think was "Wouldn't a gunshot wound be faster?" LET'S GET ON WITH IT YOU ARE TERRIBLE OLIVIA WILDE STOP RUINING HOUSE.
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[The following is the third and final part of an email conversation between Jesse
and Jim with our thoughts about the 5th season of "House". Part one is here, and part two is here. If you have
not seen the show, please be aware that there are major spoilers.]--- From: Jim To: Jesse Subject: Wouldn't 13 + Foreman = 13 and three-fifths? Well, you may not have liked it, but at least the David Morse arc was an arc... the IMDB tells me
he appeared in six episodes, and they were good episodes, even if they
didn't really go anywhere. (I'm surprised you didn't mention how
Cuddy hired House's ex- as the hospital lawyer in the first season as
an early example of this trend).
Not being a CSI watcher, other than YouTube clips
of David Caruso removing his sunglasses, I can't speak to the quality
of that show. But don't you think that, while formulaic, the show isn't
as good as it used to? At some point it stopped being about the
formula. The weekly case on House seems more like an afterthought to me now. I
don't care if the patient lives or dies, or what little real-life
occurrence is going to trigger House to find the answer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it didn't used to be
like this. The cases used to be the
main focus, with the characters being slowly developed, with the audience getting
glimpses of their personal lives through the case work. Now, it's
flipped. We are focusing on characters, and the cases take a back seat.
This isn't helped by the fact that there are simply too many characters
vying for screen time.
Now we have Kutner's suicide to deal with.... I had
serious, serious issues with this episode. Issue the first: I had seen
it before, better, 15 years ago. Issue the second, I didn't really care.
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[The following is part two of an email conversation between Jesse
and Jim with our thoughts about the 5th season of "House". Part one is here. If you have
not seen the show, please be aware that there are major spoilers.]--- From: Jim To: Jesse Subject: Let's talk story arcs I'm glad you mentioned the new team, because we NEED to talk about
that. So, the fourth season starts, House has little survivor game, and
we have a field of candidates that keeps getting narrowed down. This
was, unfortunately, shortened by the writer's strike. Anyhoo, House
goes through the motions, and picks his team: Taub, Kutner, and 13. As
mentioned, Foreman also joins in a supervisory role. Of the
three new cast members, only Taub has really been developed as a character. He gave up a lucrative plastic surgery career because he had
an affair with one of the partner's daughters; rather than lose his
marriage, he signs a non-compete agreement and goes into real medicine. Taub is
well written, and Peter Jacobson does a hell of a job bringing life to
the character. The others? 13 has a fatal disease. Her mom had
it too. She's pretty. She likes to sleep around, with both men and
women. She goes on a self destructive bent, pulls out of it, and starts
dating Foreman. So yeah, a lot of stuff happens to her. But that does
not a character make. It seems to me that Olivia Wilde brings
absolutely nothing to the table. 13, to me, is boring.
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[The following is part one of an email conversation between Jesse
and Jim with our thoughts about the 5th season of "House". If you have not seen the show, please be aware that there are major spoilers.]
---
From: Jim
To: Jesse
Subject: YOU ARE RISKING A PATIENT'S LIFE!!!
I blame you for this. That's right, you Mr. Craft. I was thoroughly
happy not watching House. The marketing team at Fox had turned me off
to the show, well before its premiere. "You're RISKING A PATIENT'S
LIFE" the ads said. "I'm the doctor whose trying to save your son;
you're the mother who's letting him die," the ads said. "I'm the person
who is not watching this TV show," I responded.
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