Results filed under: “andy samberg”

@ September 15, 2008

You know what really grinds my gears?  Andy Samberg.  What moron decided that you had any comic ability.  On Saturday nights all I want to do is get drunk off of Long Island Iced Teas such that I can find the humor on SNL bearable.  It usually works  (Although every now and then there is something so un-funny that even my drunk ass can't break a smile, but that doesn't happen too often.)  But then when the screen goes black and I see the words "An SNL Digital Short", I want to get a gun and blow my face off.  (It is for this reason that I have cut back to 5 LIITs instead of my usual 8.)  Andy, no amount of alcohol can convince me that you are funny.

Fans of yours (i.e. people with an IQ below 40) think that your style of "comedy" is akin to that of Adam Sandler.  Listen, just because you're a Jew with the initials A.S. doesn't make you funny.  Your first "movie" Hot Rod grossed approximately the same as Sandler's first film Billy Madison, which was released in 1995 back when the average price of a movie ticket was $4.35.  In 2007 when your piece of crap film came out the ticket prices were on average 50% higher.  I'm sure Hot Rod and all of your fine acting in Laser Cats (BTW there are sequels!) helped you snag the lead voice role in the animated blockbuster Space Chimps (yeah, I hadn't heard of it either).

So Mr. Samberg I ask you to stop subjecting me to this type of retarded comedy.  Try something else.  Why not try your act in the Middle East?  I'm sure that you could show them how great life is in the Western World.  If that doesn't work, I'm sure you can get a job with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour -- they're always looking for horrible comedians.  Or better yet, why don't you sit down and watch one of your Digital Shorts after you've had 8 Long Island Iced Teas pumped into you.  Don't worry, I'll make sure that the shotgun is within reach.


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